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when talking about psychological defenses, which I mentioned earlier, I want to talk about denial.

Psychological protection is the unconscious mental processes that protect the mind from traumatic experiences.

theNegation is a psychological defense in which a person does not recognize the existence of real things or phenomena that cannot be seen. Denial helps to dissociate itself from what is unpleasant for us.


a Small child is unable to cope with the fact that significant people don't take it, not well cared for or permanently scandals. The baby is completely dependent on loved ones. The loss of the love of a parent means to him risk, he instinctively perceives this situation as a matter of survival.

the child has no choice: he cannot sit in the car and leave, he can't go to the police or to go to the registry office and get a divorce. To survive, he has to close some shell, to come up with another world, the world distorted, an illusion in which it is easier to live.

over time people are so accustomed to this way of fencing of the traumatic reality that these reactions become automatic. No one consciously decides to deny the status quo, to wear blinkers, ignore actions of others or their emotions, but the mind stops accepting too painful information.

At some stage of life, such protection helped to survive, but if we want development, we have these protections removed, to reveal and face the truth.

the Problem is that the denial of the reality of this reality to protect. People who had very much and very actively deny it "atrophies" the ability to see around the real danger. They think that while they will pretend that they have everything in order, they is actually going to be, like in order. Their behavior can be reduced to ignore that goes wrong, and attempts to disguise the failure, for instance, drawing a joke.

what it may cause? To collapse. When there is something abnormal, life as it shows: "Look, here's how it really is, you have a problem you need to solve them." But due to the habit of denying inconvenient reality man, that is, does not notice the log in your eye.

While family and friends may try to warn against errors, to pay attention to what is really happening, but it is useless. For example, upon marriage, a woman sees unacceptable behavior of his chosen, but cuts their unpleasant feelings, not wanting to accept reality.

All issues presented as a joke. There is strongly believe: "While I'm calm and cheerful, my things will go perfectly." That is the ostrich hiding its head in the sand. The power of denial can be so huge that it is impossible to overcome without outside help.

sorry, in order to get rid of this habit to veil the reality is, sometimes a person has to be between life and death, or to suffer a financial collapse, or meet some other tragic accidents. Only such an extreme situation is able to knock a person out of the beaten rut of denial.

Returning to the theme of intra-family interaction, it is necessary to say about the difficulties of overcoming this mechanism of denial. If the family actively used this method to dissociate itself from reality, it takes the form of a secret plot. And if someone from the family will step further and try to break the denial, he will have to face daunting obstacles.

Other members of the family would oppose such a change and will be very tough to protect the established course of things. They are so afraid, they would be ready to fight to the death, but no one would have told the truth.

What could be the reason? They may not have this courage or motivation, they may not have the internal resources to go through this process. Or are they still not as bad as those who are willing, overcoming discomfort, fear, confusion and pain, to face the truth and to face up to its challenges.

have you noticed yourself around these people? Or maybe you are prone to denial? Share your experience review.

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Svetlana Kosheleva