Meet more and more discussions on the subject: that it would be good to have a second child when the first gets older and be able to help! Or if you are a senior you have to help your sister or brother! To help parents that would make it easier for them, babysit, walk, play, and sometimes even to care and be responsible!
How it kills the second child! the child is often the parent of pred are those requirements that he simply should not do! because he is a child! it is the same as the first just older!
he did not want to share to give your toys to put on the system or brother for a walk, give a try to your ice cream, go to the street to walk only taking his brother or sister! AND THAT'S FINE!!!
often, for this reason, from the fact that the child needs care and parental attention that he gets from the younger, quarrels between young brothers or sisters, you might think that they're fighting over the little things, or not divided toys...but the problem is deeper...and hatred accumulate..
it should not you do to help care for the young! only if he doesn't want and will not show this desire! and parents can only teach your older child to WANT to do something to help mom or dad! but not to force, and especially the "shout" slogans"that you're a senior!" "you must!" "you adult, and it's small"
In their work with children who have siblings and are senior in the family brought up in such conditions, what surprised me was that my questions
-If you could change something in your family, even though, what would you change/have changed? or what your desire is associated with the family?
almost all answered "I would like to be an only child!" (although according to observations of these children looked quite happy and never to such things did not complain to the parents, followed all instructions and was of great help in raising, caring for younger brothers or sisters!)
it Became interesting, and what they then grow these assistants?
I had a hypothesis that they will grow up and never repeat this in your family or at least marry later and will have 1 child since they are "taught" life and understand how hard it is to replace a parent when you're a child and you need the same attention as younger no matter what your age difference! BUT I was wrong! (of course there are those who after these family stories turns later the family and a very long time to understand why they have no children, and in the course of therapy it turns out that they are happily married have a very caring husband and not with anybody else don't want to share his concern, moreover afraid of it! all this unconsciously and in the course of analysis it is possible to detect)
however more often growing up these children have the same family and when they are in your family make such mistakes as their parents, they begin to think that something is wrong, certainly not realizing until the end that only as a result of therapy brings awareness...... as all these do the things unconscious!
So! Dear parents! even if you have two, three or even more children, CHILDREN! regardless of return to all of them EQUALLY need your care! they cannot become the second parents of their brothers or sisters!