What stops people from divorce or break up of steady relationships?
- the more scandals, the more difficult it is to separate
Sometimes it seems that the relationship has stalled so deeply that out of them just yet. And even the rupture of these relations does not seem real: how many times fought, how many times to promise not to see how many conflicts and even hysterical and ugly scandals, but in the end we are still together and can't separate.
2. He's so helpless that I just can't leave him
I have for him such feelings as if he were my kid or younger brother. But I don't see it as men. On the one hand "relatives" do not choose and do not quit, and with another – our relationship like some kind of psychological incest.
3. If I say I want to leave him, he just won't survive.
it seems to Me that he tied me like a dog or a cat. He doesn't care what happens to me, I feel important that I was there. Looking at me with those betrayed eyes, and I howl. How to build a family relationship with the dog, even if you love her. But I don't know how to tell him that I want him to leave; he just did not survive.
4. He's a good man, but I can't sleep with him.
He's a good man, loves the child, provides all the necessary house, treats me well, but I sometimes just get so sick from his presence, and I can't sleep with him. If we have sex and it happens, he resembles a surly, physical exercise, and even rape.
5. I do without it I can not, I'm just scared to lose his cover.
Through our relationship I went to another social level. I somewhat like the current way of life, and I'm scared to lose him. All these years I kind of stopped in their development, and I'm not sure I will be able to provide for themselves at the same level as it was with him.
6. I'm afraid of uncertainty and breaking the traditional way of life.
I was not happy with the situation, but I fear the uncertainty more than all of the angst and hassle that surrounds me now. I have the feeling that what is happening is a bad and unhappy, but still life, and if you refuse it I will just emptiness.
Some tips marriage counselors
- Maybe You don't need to leave my husband?
If You can not get away from your husband, then maybe You don't need to leave him. Maybe You intuitively feel that the source of your troubles is not the husband, and yourself. Just easier to blame all ills on man that is near you.
If You can't deal with them, then throwing one husband, You will eventually find a person like him. And if he is going to be very different, You consciously or unconsciously exert a lot of effort to bring it to the same state in which you left your previous choice.
2. If You change yourself, and Your husband can change with you. Perhaps You have a midlife crisis
If you close relationships with some person, then it is something from You. Banishing it, You're trying to get away from something in themselves. Sometimes the whole process of marriage and divorce can be arranged in order to escape from their parental families, their social environment – or get rid of something less obvious and more personal.
Sometimes family problems take condition age crisis. 25 — 35 years is a crisis of thirty years. Men and women experience it differently. With age, changes our attitude to love, sex, to relations, to friendship, to work, to everything. Sometimes things get not such as before. So it is better to deal first with themselves and then take on family and husband.
3. If You are really ready to divorce, it is better to make possible civilized
A very serious Heartbreak from her husband not for the reason that are really afraid to lose someone, but because they perceive divorce as a blow to his self esteem. Spontaneous reports of divorce at the time some of another argument or in response to some event, usually not taken seriously, they react as trying to raise the level of intensity of the conflict. In the end, the whole conversation boils down to mutual accusations and even desires as much as possible to hit each other where it hurts.
Those families or couples who had a lot of quarrels and scandals, usually divorce longer and more painful than people to remain in their lives the elements of tact and dignity. But this, unfortunately, is rare. Sometimes before you get to the finish line of a divorce makes sense to try to adjust with her husband the normal communication as is possible.
fear has big eyes, and not always a divorce is like a civil war on the scale of one family. And usually those problems that fell on You after divorce, blow all the flame of Your misery that you suffered within the family. But only in this case You still receive the opportunity to realize that You couldn't do in a broken family, but what a time those relationships only got stronger.
divorces and breakups of long relationships a lot of black parties and they are always accompanied by suffering and experiences, but they also have a bright side. You are born again a new man, and unlike a baby, are able to rely on your past experience.
In that case, if you already have children, the requirement for the "civilized divorce" increases dramatically, but this is to talk separately.
PS To illustrate the article we used my sister's drawings Gorevoy Helena