Cap will not help or what good relationships are distinguished from the bad


I now "one thing" to say but you will not be offended (with). One very obvious thing: "We all have something in common and something different".

This fact, if you think about it carefully, could make peace and make everyone happy. But it was not there, captain Obvious here powerless. It is characterized by all the obvious facts - seem so simple and straightforward, but the Fig does not help. Because in fact, the whole point is not the fact, and in the position people occupy in relation to it.

With this fact two people are four possible versions of events.

"We're so similar, and it's good for me." Because you share my beliefs and values. Because you understand me, I don't need you to explain everything. I'm with you can relax and feel safe.

"We're so similar, and it makes me bored." It's like we're twin brothers who every day dressed in the same thing. We think alike and act alike. I know you inside out and can predict your every move, because I would have done the same. I want it to yawn.

"We're different, and it makes me bad." You're too fast, slow, black, yellow, white, hot, cold, emotional, rational, volatile, stable, love football, love shopping - underline. It's frustrating, scary, embarrassing, disgusting or annoying. Your otherness is too big, ugly, unacceptable or unbearable to me.

"We're different, and it is interesting to me". Here you are! I want you took me by the hand and led her to their world. You can show me your hot snow white and Coca-Cola, how do you know how to eat inedible things and rejoice in what I want to forget in three seconds. And then I'll show you my world.

the Other person combines both similarities and differences. And it seems that relations, which are burdened by the similarities and reject differences, they are bad, but a relationship where we can enjoy the similarities and interested in the differences - good.


Andrei Ralko
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