In my opinion, 95% of problem behavior of children lie in the lack of right relationship with the adults responsible for the child either in the psychological immaturity of the child.

Problem behavior, whatever it may be, is the tip of the iceberg. To recover from something, you must first figure out what disease we are dealing with. It is possible, finite, infinite pills, which removed the symptoms. But is it necessary?..
and behavior. All of our reactions are usually focused on what we can see, the symptoms. So what's the point to influence them? Isn't it better to try to understand what caused it?

Well, another question. The immaturity of the child.
unfortunately, most of the requirements of the companies did not take into account the psychology of child development.
In the middle ages painted children as small adults, and believed that the children - it is almost adults, all you need to they become adults, just feed them and everything!
the middle Ages are long gone. And in a society still hovers little reliable information about what actually capable and not a child's brain.

it is easy for Us to take the physical immaturity of the child. When a child is born, we know that he still is not sufficiently developed digestive system, teeth no. First, we feed him milk, then make puree. We do not give the child raw carrots and don't blame him that he can't eat.
But this is how we behave when not take into account the mental development of the child.

for Example, the prefrontal cortex of the brain of the baby starts functioning only 5-7 years, especially sensitive children and 9 years. (But there are delays of development, for example, with juvenile offenders it was found that their prefrontal cortex developed at 4 years. Roughly speaking, they just can't control yourself, even if you really want to.)

this means that for children of this age naturally to be:
✔app is unstable (impulsive, short-sighted, unreliable, to be sure of the correctness, etc.)
✔ app inattentive (too straightforward, self-centered, stubborn, etc.)
✔ app have problems with separation, i.e. separation from loved ones, to whom the child is attached.

✔now the child has no integrative thinking, in one unit of time a child may be obsessed with only 1 thought, one impulse, one emotion, one feeling.
(Imagine when you experience some very strong emotions that they fully possess you, for example, you're very angry. At such moments your brain can hardly take another, even reasonable information. Isn't it? In children, we can say that all the time).

a few examples for clarity:

• the Child, when he gets angry, forgets that he loves mom. Therefore, when we're mad at him, the child is difficult to believe that in this moment we love him.
• If the child is passionate about something, he just doesn't hear us either resists the effects of another (as I recently wrote).
• If we agreed with the child that we would go somewhere only if he will go and not ask for pens, and then 10 minutes later he cries and say that he was tired. He has that right. Kids can't think ahead.
• Eternal situation in the sandbox: "Give it back, you're not greedy. You need to share. Share otherwise to be friends with you will not. Good kids share." etc. For the child's understanding of all this will be limited by a single thought: the machine (for example) you need to give. Why, why, and how to behave in other situations it's not reflected in the mind of the child.
• to Do so in order to get something from the other - a complex mental mechanism of the child is also available.
• and logic thinking begins to form at 7 years... So whatever argument we are not given, the child simply can not force them to understand. You may find that the child understood, but this understanding is very far from that essence which you wanted to convey to the child.

the Theme is long and the volume can be the whole book.

Need to remember one thing:
❤this Relationship above all else.
❤this We must consider the immaturity of the child.
❤this If we want our child grew up and became a Mature, independent person, capable to realize your potential, the action plan is very simple - create a relationship in which the child will feel unconditionally loved, accepted, will feel safe.

/by Sochava Natalia/