the

Reflections on the gifts. This year the main gifts bought dad and me when he announced that he had purchased, I was somewhat skeptical about this, as they did not, horror of horrors, practical significance. Well, the baby gift should be useful - either to develop, or to teach, or support the game (what fun to play), and the like, but these are all "on the shelves" and such things - does not make sense. br>




This adult may see some unused gift that "just is", and to remember an event, person, located in a pleasant memory, and the child, then why? :)





but out loud I did not speak. well, I bought and bought, now. Just in case bought a small "practically useful" gift. br>




And so, when the eldest child received a gift of a disco ball, I can say, almost for the first time saw him so happy - he spent an hour thanked us, hugged and danced for joy! It would seem that what the boy is 8 years disco ball that hangs myself on the ceiling, and don't need in everyday life? And so much fun! br>




the average were also those which he immediately took apart, once sated, we realized, judging by his passion to dismantle toys, you need to give him the mechanisms specifically for this purpose (he now spins with the delight of a mechanical dinosaur, still in good condition, which he found in the attic. And a couple days earlier we would have accepted it as damage toys). br>




What conclusions I made (and parent and professional):





in choosing gifts no Amateur (which, of course, does not negate the surprise). Apparently, Papa has long been heard from children as they want this disco ball. Even the eldest looked on the market that how much. But personally, I didn't take this idea seriously. And dad completely. Need more to trust him :) me. Choosing the gift to children is a joint action :)





- a gift is preferred as reinforcement history samogo child, not his roditeley. If the child is so eager now to dismantle toys, you do not need to spend on the gift "wild thousands" and then be upset that he took it apart in thousands of pieces, and now it is one path - in the trash. br>




- the gift should be in the "zone of proximal development", which can be determine by observing the child, but there is no reference to the age marking of the gift, and on the ability of the child. If he has outgrown, will cause boredom and will be neglected in the far corner, if too complicated - the same thing, and, moreover, can create a sense of failure, and has all the chances to get lost or "to be dismantled" before it becomes relevant. br>




in psychology, there is such a thing as a "social emotion", when a person learns to react to something socially expected way to Express a particular emotion, if it is accepted, expected, or safe in a given culture or environment. Here you can spend a certain analogy - if you ask directly what the child wants as a gift, he can articulate something that is expected of him, not what he wants really. For example, Loew passionately wanted the ball, but didn't even ask him, and talking about something familiar that was usually - well, there is LEGO, for example, or a set of labyrinths that he likes. This does not mean that it is all not necessary, but if we are talking about the present, which is designed to leave a bright trace in the memory of the child, creating a feeling of a happy childhood, it is important to reflect that the, "primary," the desire of the child. br>




Because of this "passion" is kind of important and urgent need that is "hungry" satisfaction. Her to meet the parents, and let everything else give to family and friends ;)

happy New year and Rozhdestvom! br>
2018-01-02
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