Children's aggression as a cry for help

just a couple of hours ago was thinking to write about something article, but have not found a suitable topic. Decided that the world will throw up. It happened — the wife came and told what happened on the Playground case. A child of 4 years went into the fight, and the parents did not stop him from allowing all just clumsily trying to switch. In such a case the normal reaction of an adult is angry. Maybe even to blame parents for such poor upbringing. But now I want you to think a little bit about this situation from the point of view of a child.

the basic need of a child — safe. Moreover, confidence in the security of the world required for further harmonious development. It is a pity that some of the parents to ensure the safety of the child is considered sufficient to stick round furniture protective corners and to lock the rack with detergent and key. Of course, it will protect your baby from unnecessary injury, but the sense of security he did not create. Rather, it is parents need. They will become calmer. A child?

Think, so you get a sense of security? In peacetime, of course. And in the absence of physical violence. I tell certainty. Understanding what will happen tomorrow. That there is money for food. What on my salary, I can buy so many products to pay the rent, buy new shoes. Spouse(-and) from me not going anywhere. All the able-bodied. And what is this little kid going into the wardrobe with detergents.

If could happen, anything - an end to the sense of security. Of course, for growth we need to get out of the comfort zone, but it is better to control this process. Ideally, this should be Shuttle traffic: safety risk-the safety risk. But back to the kids.

That creates certainty? Clear boundaries. There is so, and there's commercials. It can be, it is impossible. Here, the mother chew, and then praise. If mom can narpati for any reason -- certainty disappears and a sense of security with him. THE SAME thing HAPPENS IF the MOTHER ALLOWS ALL. The boundaries are expanded until, until you disappear over the horizon. And the baby is dumped existential, sorry, horrified. The world has no boundaries. All kapets. Little son has not received a response. There is neither good nor bad.

Now, about aggression. In fact, aggression is the energy necessary for regulation of the distance and building boundaries. To take what I need. To push away what is contrary. Bellow to behind. To attract, that will not go away. (* Read more about the aggression read Konrad Lorenz and Fritz Perls). And child agressiva really just trying to feel the border — where is she there? Is there?

I said, "Hey, where are you?", and in response — silence. I scream, "Where are you?", in response to the silence. And now, I'm already yelling in anger: "WHERE are YOU!!!???" Not from a desire to destroy the other. The desire to hear, see, feel. And the baby, climbing to all to fight, actually waiting that he will say: "you can't." I can say without accusations and retaliatory anger. But clearly and confidently. Uncompromising. So that in the world there was at least some kind of border. At least some certainty. At least some security.

otherwise — it is impossible.
Daniel Plotnikov
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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