Continuing the theme of children's aggression, starting with children up to three years.
Approximately from the age of two all children begin to show signs of aggression. And that's fine. The neighbor's sandbox took the bucket and the first reaction is to punch him in the head with a shovel. Mom won't let toys child hits his mother. The brakes don't work and earn soon. Slowly, gradually, the child learns to control themselves years 5-7. And before that age it controlled by the parents.
Consider two situations:
First, when a child fights with kids on the Playground with other children.
a Common mistake is parents believe that children will understand themselves. You will not understand. While they are small they need help, and then they will gradually be able to learn from, its parents.
What else is worth doing?
to Blame, to shame, to punish. All this intensifies the frustration that launches the aggression. It is possible to recall rules of conduct, but do not expect that the child will remember them when the shit hits the fan.
What to do?
When You walking on the platform, always keep child under review and be prepared to stop his aggressive actions. Kids need to stop physically voice until you get it.
Parents on the Playground are different, and sometimes you have to protect your child from other parents. Even if you blame Your child, You need to be on his side. Do not scold the child for the sake of society. The child is with You forever unlike other people's parents.
If you feel that you need to apologize, then apologize for yourself for the child's behavior. It is not necessary to enforce it. Sincere repentance he is to feel you can't, and coercion will only produce in him an aversion to apologies. br>
If still nothing happened, but You will see that the situation, then you need to help the children resolve the conflict peacefully. Suggest a game that will suit both sides. Help to share toys. Divert to something else. the
Show how to play: "not a Shovel fight, and digging", "the Sand raised high, carefully pour. See how it beautifully falls out", "Machine did not throw, and the ball can be". If the child is tired, annoyed, then go home. br>
thus the main task of parents at this age is to prevent a fight.
the Second situation is when the child is very frustrating some limitation, and he rushes with fists on the parent.
In this case cannot be beat, mildly physically restricting the child, and the child blurts out his feelings.
it is Not necessary at this point to turn to the logic, no need to try to explain something. Briefly put limitation: "the time has come for sleep," "it's time to go home", "candy finished." All the arguments that "you wanted...", "we had an agreement..." etc. will pass by the ears of the child. Danger explanation in the fact that they give hope to the child that he will be able to find an argument to convince You. br>
In the moment when a child experiences strong emotional experience and to communicate with it on an emotional level: "you're sad because it's time to sleep when I still want to play", "you want to walk and are sad that we have to get home", "you want another candy and it's a shame that more can't."
irritation, caused by any constraint, there are only three choices: change the situation, but if this is not possible, either to attack or to adapt to the situation through sorrow and acceptance limits.
So in this case, the main task of parents is to help children to live strong feelings.
If the child is from time to time are fighting for no apparent reason, and it's not a game, then you need to look for the cause. Maybe he recently went to kindergarten, and from it comes the stress? Or in the family too many restrictions? Or prohibition not a lot, but they are so unclear? A little brother or sister? Child a lot and often criticized?
If the cause is found, it is necessary to work not with the behavior (fighting), and that saddens the child. To give it more of a personal positive attention to work with borders, to help to cry the pent-up tears. br>
Often aggressive behavior scares parents. It seems that the parents have missed something in the upbringing, spoiled child. No, you didn't. This is normal child behavior, because the period from two to five (and sometimes seven) years is the most aggressive period in a person's life. And shows this aggression solely on the immaturity of the child's mind.
do Not be afraid that if he fights now, and always will be. A child must outgrow it. And You can help!