I used to think so,you need to devote yourself to the beloved,to do everything to keep him well and comfortable. But love can't make one master and the other slave.
the Cause of many divorces and painful family relationships-nepravilno understanding of love. Here's the second of my friends, clever and beautiful,left a career for my husband,raised children,lived at his behest(she was forbidden to meet with friends,have a hobby etc) In the end, the divorce-it bored him.Here's another case:a husband's drinking.beats his wife. But ask him and he will scream.he loves his wife. And she him for it forgives everything.Oh, how tenacious this folk "wisdom" : "beats – means loves" . Our women often don't love,and regret,voluntarily taking on the role of the victim.Question:and it is worth it or at least appreciates everything you do for him? Then it's not love. A decent man can be found in any age,but lost the self-respect to return much more difficult.
Big trouble -it's not unrequited love,no,but to fall in love.which does you no good. The real trouble is to associate with him his fate.Here is a woman sophisticated,loves books and theatres.She finally meets him. And,Oh my God!!!Here it is,the feeling - the butterflies in your chest.And he loves to eat,spend time with friends. And here mutual resentment,misunderstanding,quarrel.
And their love there is nothing left,because the question of compatibility is much more important than heat of passion. For the love of the two are similar in lifestyle people are forced to compromise.to adapt to each other. But if you "fire and ice",the attempt to live together to end up as wasted time and enormous frustration-the opposite sex and marriage in General.
Close relationship — it really is usually difficult. Because here we have to deal not only with perceived feelings of value and beliefs as their own.and partner,but also with childhood trauma,illusions,family scenarios,etc. that influence how a choice of the partner and on the development of relations. But on the other hand is a completely natural way of personal development.To make it clearer, let's look at what love is from the point of view of psychology in the modern world. Consider 7 steps that takes place in every love.
1st stage - the honeymoon stage
This phase lasts about eighteen months. All around is incredibly beautiful and amazing. Appearance, voice, body type, and even any weaknesses of the partner seem attractive. Because of the potential couple is in "love intoxication", it is not necessary to make serious decisions. Otherwise, this state end pretty soon. The first stage is filled with romance and touching between couples.
it Takes some time and you're not so excited and not so excited about their loved ones. You begin to perceive it more adequately.
At this stage, the couple may experience the first doubts about the correctness of his choice. No one has a perfectly suitable to each other people.so between the two lovers sooner or later there will be misunderstanding. This stage is characterized by analysis of the behavior of the partner.the first explanation of the relationship,long conversations "heart to heart" Many spouses just diverge at this stage,unable to find understanding.
4th stage -patience.
At this stage, conflicts in relationships are less serious and fatal nature. Lovers know that non-verbals will end, and the relationship will be restored again. In that case, if you make the effort to develop patience, it will soon go into wisdom.
5-stage– duty and honor
This stage is considered the first and basic step to love. In this case, the man and the woman think about the personal "contribution" to the development of relations. The lover wants to do something meaningful for your spouse and be attentive to their own duties.
6 stage of love is Friendship
Here is already beginning to show themselves respect, understanding. The pair had already been through a lot. The couple know the characters, habits of each other, know how to get out of difficult situations without conflict. Both have learned to make a pleasant and much needed. They are well and interestingly together. The period of friendship can sometimes take years and decades, because the couple feel quite comfortable. Most often, the friendship manifests itself vividly when the children are a little older and the parents have enough time with each other. Childless couples come to friendship around the same time.
7-stage – true love.
at this point, the lovers go for a long time. Long-term and close relationships appear after you have completed diverse life's obstacles and circumstances. The rejection of selfishness, prejudice will help to grow to adulthood and true love. To experience such feelings, you should meet with a partner, have a strong friendship and then love. Sometimes lovers think feel love at the very first stage of a relationship – honeymoon phase. However, the romance has properties sometimes disappear. In this case, the partners have the first difficulty in the relationship.
it is Important to understand that the conventional division of the process of development of relations in stages-no more than a convenient way to analysis and reflection. In reality, relations in married couples can have simultaneously the characteristics of several stages. The highest degree of development of relations is not necessarily achieved in the final period of life together.
"to Love is not to look at each other, love is looking together in the same direction. Saint Exupery."