all of us know the sensation or feeling of guilt. Once we first feel it and now know what it looks like and what happens to us, if any.
But what is wine? This feeling of self-aggression, when we believe that our action, words and even thoughts that somehow hurt. Hurt someone or even to ourselves. And we feel complicit, guilty that I hurt or offended.
Yes, this emotion creates our sense of morality. Helps us understand the good or bad we do. Directs our actions and thoughts, like a compass, where the arrow indicates "right". /Here it is necessary to remember that "right" is a very subjective criterion/.
We feel a sense of guilt, violating important rules to us, or if we understand that it is not compliant with us standards or social norms that we have adopted for themselves. We experience guilt when we believe did something wrong. When did "bad", "wrong", it is not suitable internal frame "good."
guilt occurs when we think we "should" have been to act differently or "should" was to do something better than you did. And if we had the opportunity to do the right thing, but we ignored her, Oh, such guilt can fester over the years.
But agree, it is very convenient. If you have been "not right", then guilt automatically makes you good. You're sorry. Upright always softens punishment.
In General this emotion and are intended to make us feel "good". To shape their behavior based on a concept of "good and right". As soon as we deviate from the course, the wine gives us to understand it.
But there is another interesting manifestation of guilt, in dealing with others. People are social creatures. And between them very often you can find such emotional chords, as the anger-guilt and resentment-guilt.
People consciously or unconsciously to manipulate others through anger or resentment, thereby causing a sense of guilt. And for those who feel guilty - it is easy to control.
This model is assimilated by us in childhood. Parents are very often manipulated by guilt, justifying this pedagogic purpose.
Look at your partner, often he is angry or offended? If so, he's manipulating You. Consciously or not is not important. What matters is that You led, times you feel guilty. And it is Your reaction provokes him to such a way of manipulation.
Or do You often get angry or offended by someone? For their children, for example, or other loved ones. Maybe on the slave? Often, this method of manipulation is used where we need leverage, but we are not able to build it any other way.
But today I want to tell You about one of the ways that will help to get out of this vicious circle.
most Often we feel guilt when our interests conflict with the interests of the partner. We are afraid that can cause anger or resentment.
In this, the next time you feel guilty, imagine that this sense of "not present", "false" and allow yourself to experience the sadness from the fact that your interests and the interests of your partner are not the same, as well as the joy, from what you now learn to defend their personal boundaries.
As will others, and guilt is harder to live in Your thoughts.