every age has its own challenges. The task of infancy, for example, to build confidence in the world. Only in this relatively short period of life, the child overcomes the way from the ball with the reflexes before the child is able to control his body. In any other period of time the person is not developing so rapidly! When the harmonious development, the attention of parents to the needs of the child, to approximately 1 year in the subcortex formed a "basic trust in the world", which will allow the child in the future "not to slow down the speed of development." If something went wrong and the child has not formed this trust, it will be all life "to respond in the psyche".
don't underestimate the age-related development tasks. Babies normal, everything goes by itself: a young mother feels her baby, comes to him when insists, distinguishes shouting what he wants, etc. – is biological program.
But with the Teens all slightly different situation. In adolescence, the leading activity is communication, and the main task of adolescence is to master the social world, make friends, meet, defend their opinions and most importantly to understand what he (the teenager), what are the qualities endowed with that good, and what is not, etc.
At the same time changing the social situation in the child's life. For example, in Russia adolescence many children coincides with the transition to high school. And the child has to work twice as hard to learn socialization. Explain what I mean. In the primary grades the child is already accustomed to the requirements and evaluation criteria your teacher to order (where to undress, where the Cabinet, what Desk to use the toilet, etc.). And in the middle children usually have to learn quickly to understand the schedule, location of classrooms and offices. Teenagers have to adapt to each teacher because each has its own requirements and evaluation criteria on the subject. Want – not have to adapt to a changing environment. Teens and older have more professional choices to decide to choose subjects to think about the exam.
However, all of these actions unfold on the background of the development of its J. If a teenager everything is great with communication: he has friends, he knows how to negotiate with children and teachers, his opinion into account and respect classmates, the teenager performs the task of the age. The following problem (falls at the end of school and beyond) should be personal and professional orientation: what you want in life to achieve what I want to work when I want to create a family – a rough outline of life plans. If teenage tasks are performed, and the teenager learned how to make friends, understand the other person's feelings, knows how to fight, has to put up etc., it includes the new task of the age.
However, if the child has no friends, it did not seem to notice in class, he draws the task of the younger school student "training" (learning to learn), the teenager does not complete the task age. Of course, erudite teenager enjoys prestige among peers as a carrier of a particular fetish that compels him to increase his knowledge, but this is assuming that he is someone I can share it. Everything has its time and when a teenager is learning to meet people, make friends is one thing, but when a guy is 25 and he lives with his parents and does not know how to meet girls – it is sad. It is important to understand what made the age problem not guarantee a successful career but an unfulfilled age task guarantees of difficulty in his personal life.
Why this teenager stage? The fact that I'm a teenager still is not perceptible, his self-esteem mirror – that is, he thinks of himself what he hears in his address. Therefore, usually a teenager looking for other similarities, understanding and accepting their own experiences and installation. A friend can help not only better understand themselves but also to overcome uncertainty in the forces, the endless doubts of self-worth, to feel like a person: "Happiness is when people understand you". Teenagers defend the right to have friendships with their peers, tolerate no discussion about the faults and virtues of each, since all the comments are perceived as an attack on the right to choose, on the freedom of a teenager. Gradual funding increases in other personal qualities and experiences, increases the ability to their evaluation, the opportunity to evaluate himself.
Adolescence is a complex and for the teenager and for his family, but he passes. He did not need to exercise their forces, clashing with adults, entering a new phase in the relationship with their parents – now they are not "pesky ancestors" and adults, speakers of all human experience. Support the child in the development of age-related development tasks, take all the value of friendship and companionship of a teenager, this is a great investment in a happy future of the child.
If You are faced with the problems of adolescence Your child and are determined to resolve it with the help of a professional child psychologist - invite me for consultation.
Your child psychologist, Tatiana Ott.