it so Happens that the person lives for two, three people, ten for the whole group - not in the sense that he has a mental disorder of some kind-no, it just one of responsibility as much as could be divided in three, ten, a hundred...but he don't think so, or think he can handle it, or tries to withstand, despite the fact that it breaks - it hurts dramatically aging, not enough resources on the simple and important things - taking care of yourself, support yourself.
it is Often from such situations people bring requests for therapy - why not have money that they're leaving; why I am treated - treated and may not recover, or don't have time to go from one illness, I get another. For therapists it can be questions - why not practice, do not go, the clients go?
all phenomena, which are interesting to me personally to look from the point of view of treatment of the person with his own boundaries, with its own resources, the election to support something energy-intensive, so that does not remain forces on the rest, even the fact that the man himself seem important, but in fact is not, given what he chooses and how expensive this choice is willing to pay.
it Often seems that he is torn between Scylla and Charybdis - on the one hand from time to time feels in what he limit is, and how it is periodically flooded with rage and anger, and helplessness from the inability to change the situation, to get rid of the load, to rest.
on the other hand inside of this immense sea of omnipotence, omnipotence and sense of self-worth, which is intoxicating, whispers- "well, what would you be if you give it up? if you admit that you can't handle it? if you notice how you are ashamed - how are you going to hide from this feeling? something to hide behind, if you refuse this responsibility? if you can survive the shame and the horror of helplessness and infirmity? but the fear of irrelevance? fear of rejection? the fear of abandonment? fear of shame? the fear of uncertainty? fear of losing control? fear and shame of exposure? fear and shame of shame? fear of insanity from the vastness of all reality, which, if you stop to take all in the light of responsibility is not clear on that lean wildly, terrified to be without the familiar ground under my feet.
In this sea of terror and overwhelming anxiety is very easy to drown, to go crazy, lose all the supports and bridges and to get lost.
not Here to sensitivity, here just to survive.
But you can survive only through the acquisition support, restructuring priorities. It is a peaceful time to listen to ourselves and understand, I want for dinner, grouse, risotto with seafood or just buckwheat with yogurt. When bombing, earthquake, other natural disaster you need to seek shelter. Need to save yourself.
And not to abandon their responsibility is and bombing, and earthquake and flood at the same time. This loss of internal supports, the familiar, the native, although strong stress, this is the breakthrough of the dam and collision with those feelings that well was forced out when a person was functionally overloaded with responsibility, it is a huge confusion and anxiety of uncertainty.
It is also a clash with the reaction of the environment to change the situation, it is anger, rage, irritation, fear and anxiety surrounding those affects, which have been kept like a Genie in a bottle by taking responsibility for other people and their lives, and who only occasionally as flames appeared in those moments when a person could no more tired, for a minute, and sometimes in fractions of a second shot that burdens are not his responsibility from his shoulders, as if Recalling the terrible executioner, a merciless judge about what awaits man if he refuses, tired, or God forbid, you wouldn't want to serve their own people's lives.
And if you ever hear about how bednarecek or victims is a lot of power over the person they expose the abuser, then that's how it happens
when I refuse to serve someone else's process, someone comfort, comfortable position by themselves, their forces, spiritual and material resources, I get a ton of rage and accusations that I'm bad, I'm guilty in someone's condition that I have to do it, because... (there may be different options and language - man, woman, mother, father, professional), aims to regain power ( and to avoid responsibility for their lives, elections and payments for them) and to place the responsibility on someone who is strongly inclined to this responsibility to take, paying for it with strength, life, health, loss of sensitivity, but the finding of illusory omnipotence.
for this scheme to organize any dependent relationship. And it service dependencies takes a ton of resources-health, power, quality of life, no loss of interest, sensitivity, indifference.
But of course, there are important bonuses - why else would it was all need - to avoid, not to live a difficult, painful feelings, a sense of omnipotence, power (hidden and real), the possibility to shift the responsibility - to take, not take, believe that your choice not to pay and look for another that is always ready to do it for you to find their benefits and their bonuses. And so on and so forth.
addiction is a choice, conscious or not. It is important to realize that for it will have already have to pay.
the Complexity out of the subject precisely in the fact that the bonuses will have to lose, not only the circuit and suffering. And at the end of what? For what? for undefined freedom, for fresh air which as you already know, too, honey does not get smeared. Will have to pay. Often losses all the same restrictions (if your freedom has not acquired a form of psychosis), the resulting sensitivity, which is not always a joy, and often a lot of pain, fears, anxiety, much more...
the Fee is for any choice. And only a person can decide where and how to go, what to take and what will have to give and without much to live.