have Repeatedly appealed to me couples with similar phrases: "I survive! He (or she) doesn't behave. To do so..."
Or came mom and dad are depressed, wishing to help their children (no matter what age). They asked me for help to change the opinion or behavior of their child. Sought to impose certain values and attitudes. Parents often try, as it seems, to improve the attitude of their children towards life and people.
the same scheme can work in children towards their parents. They believe - to their own benefit. That is, in fact, they are trying to take on FOREIGN responsibility. Well, when their participation is accepted. The advice helped. And all was well.
But sometimes a when the other person (husband/wife/child/parent, or other) did so and received a negative experience. Who can be guilty? Often just advice. Not only that, tried to help, but failed, and the fault can stay. Not much if thus itself come from? Thus, more damage is done. The other party is no longer responsible for their actions, becoming dependent on others and thereby revealing their immaturity.
There are option B. The other side is not asking for help. Even actively resisting. How often the people who are not someone else's responsibility, suffer. Sometimes they are obsessed with the desire to change (well, of course, improve) the other, that completely forget about themselves, about their lives and their desires.
Consider the variant. When there is excessive control of others. How many people lose their precious time because of mistrust. Control they create tension in the first place itself, not to mention the other side. Thereby may limit the development and closing the opportunity to make desirable better.
In all these cases they say about assuming someone else's responsibility, which can lead to negative consequences.
it is Therefore necessary to distinguish between someone else's personal responsibility.
to Take the decision for the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others can often be for all parties is negative.
About the dangers to think and decide for others and we talked. It is also interesting to understand where does the desire to carry someone else's responsibility. Or how to learn to trust, and to remove unnecessary control over other people. But it already subjects for the following discussions.