If everyday reality of the inhabitants of, say, Europe or the States appeal for advice, the therapist is no longer something exotic, something for our compatriots, this event remains rather something "strange" and "weird."

Perhaps the situation with the psychological support we have so, yet in our society there are such stereotypical beliefs that "to a psychologist refer only sick people" or those "who do not have the will power to solve our own problems" and "family problems and certainly should be solved in the family and not to contact any other family psychologist."

However, the sad statistics on the number of divorces, cases of domestic violence, etc. say that "to decide family problems" is often not so easy.

that is why in psychotherapy there is an important direction Family psychotherapy. And in this regard a number of varieties.

However, even if someone from the family members an idea to seek the advice of family psychologist, I often then thought it never comes. And probably for the simple reason that it is absolutely unclear how things will happen on this kind of advice. And the unknown as we know, is always scary and can cause great anxiety, which is a powerful stop on the way to seek family counseling.

Therefore I propose to lift the veil of secrecy: talk a little about how the process of family counselling.

What happens behind the door of the Cabinet in couples therapy?

first, each member of the family psychologist will be asked to introduce themselves and say a bit about how exactly he understands the reason for treatment.

It doesn't matter whether came to the reception couple or a family with children, family psychologist asks everyone to tell about the reason. And this is a very important part of the process, as through this personal appeal to each member of the family specialist makes it clear that everyone's voice is valued, and not someone one.

second, the psychologist asks clarifying questions to better understand what actually is the problem with which the family came to the reception.

it Often happens that family members do not see the problem, but only its top, making conclusions very superficial, taking only part of the system in its whole. For example, when parents treat a child, a teenager, accusing him of poor performance and unwillingness to study, they can assume that the problem is entirely in the child. A marriage counselor will pay attention and will help to realize that the problem of one family member is a problem throughout the family system.

third, at the reception family members, one way or another, interact with each other.

And usually it just allows you to watch from the side causes conflicts and disputes. As a rule, most common problems in interaction between family members will manifest themselves, including in consultation. This will allow the technician to obtain very valuable information that together with clients to observe what is actually happening between them.

fourth, the specialist will help to take a fresh look at old problems.

And not from the point of view of who is right and who is wrong. And from the point of view of the family as a whole system, where each makes its own separate contribution. Then each family member can see what he does to maintain an existing problem. And also, what can he do to begin to solve it.

fifth, the psychologist discusses with the family the specific tactics, namely, what and who will begin to do in the near future to change the situation.

And if each family member takes on personal responsibility for change, that these changes occur much faster than during the individual psychological consultations. And so the psychological process is much more efficient when working with family.

Catherine Veremeenko
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