Contact with your anger as a way of growing

the History of our relationship with anger - the story is VERY important. And, in fact, this is a story of growing up. Why? Because anger is extremely necessary to separate - to separate from the fact that we "had swallowed, without chewing" and manifest in this world with their own uniqueness and value.

But let's order.

first, with anger it is not so simple, because most of us are taught to suppress it. Especially girls. Especially "good girls". Because, as you know, "girls don't fight". "Good boys" also has its own problems with anger.

Well, if anger is taboo, then you first have to "get" out of resentment and guilt. Spell or something:)

How to do it? Is not very easy. But strategically, is to grow the belief that to be angry (to anyone)! And that "angry" - not equal "destroy".
to Understand that the anger is not about what "you're bad/bad", but about something in your life you do not like someone pushing your boundaries and something detrimental.
to Realize that anger is one of the most useful emotions, allowing to survive and take its place under the sun.
And it never occurs in a vacuum. Anger is a powerful indicator! He wants to believe and hear him.

1. So the first step is to recognize your anger.

2. The second step is to understand. To understand what (who) is and what actions cause you feel? Anger is a response to the violation of personal boundaries. And no matter what way they were violated. Often, close type "good to you", and you (ungrateful bastard!) get annoyed and angry in response. And then what? Hi, guilt. IMPORTANT! If there is anger - so the boundaries are violated.

3. The third step is to live the emotion. It means not to suppress it ("notice = means does not exist"), allow her to Express in any way through the body (movement), voice, or creativity. Yes, beat your pillow; yea, to yell obscenities (preferably nowhere, not hurting anyone); to kick with the feet-hands, invisible objects: a) to Draw with pressure, hybrids dough vigorously to wash something. If you do it regularly - well, that's how it got the emotion, because it expresses (or after a short time), but not accumulate, it is quite a small vigorous action (even if just a middle finger to show to nowhere, adding a vibrant expression). IMPORTANT! If anger has a lot (for example during situations of violence and suppression or "brain stem"), and then merge it it is necessary gradually, or "freaking". In this case, the NECESSARY assistance. This is not a joke. And affect the neighborhood.

4. The fourth step is to take what has caused the anger that you expressed. IMPORTANT! To accept does not mean to tolerate or accept. To accept means to see the real reality.

When anger is recognized and lived, then you can take the necessary action. To change the situation, on the detuning of the borders, all of that will seem necessary.

With cold (well, "not boiling" at least) reason.

Bokacheva Julia
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