I was Recently asked an interesting question. I will quote here: "I Wonder what bonuses get real parents? Especially in the moment when you give money/energy unselfishly to their children, when allowed to stand for their aggression and other not so nice things and not fall apart?" It was about the fact that such important and necessary get parents who successfully containerwith your child, his emotions and passions. With the therapist is clear - he gets the money, and besides he loves his job and is satisfied with the process of interaction with the client.
What the hell, get the parents who bravely endure the tantrums, hysterical crying, snot, red wrinkled baby-face? Grown up two year old becomes a tyrant and negative, it all bad and all wrong, he hates his parents because they limit it, frustrert, interfere with, spoil life.
Why is it all of them? To stay and to "digest" the affects emotionally difficult sometimes, even impossible. Isn't it easier to walk away, until he progesa, to punch in the fifth point, to yell in response... and in essence what happens to us when we do? If you remove all the protection, I think deep will be a pain, our children's pain is that when we are so cried and shouted themselves so needed the presence and support of, us have left, or yelled back, or beaten, or...many different options and unbearable loneliness. And how difficult it is to stay close to those who need the same what we always needed.
What gets a mother, staying and surviving your child? The most important and directly observable - is the preservation of emotional contact and intimacy with family. Isn't that enough? Many parents of grown children complain about the disunity with them. Isn't it enough that after the emotional storms you remain a team and the child says, "I know you love me, even when I don't behave and you're mad at me"? It is expensive. This is important when the child has a feeling that mom loves him no matter what and contrary. Must be the same in this indifferent world to be at least one person who loves you so much. This allows the psyche to intraeconomic the image of a good parent and support themselves on their own. Isn't it a miracle?
This is a great gift every parent their child is the ability to handle it mentally. And if happens, it is fixable on psychotherapy.
and besides, I believe that containerevent is an important contribution to the development of the family system, the contribution to psychological well-being of their descendants. Unless of course you believe that the world remains in place after your death)