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If for some reason you want to make a change in yourself or your life and for some reason want to come to this without help, this article is for you. Any serious adult business starts with an agreement. In this case, it is appropriate to speak about the contract with yourself. And despite the fact that the case not involved the other person, treat the agreement seriously. Write it in writing, like, make it between two people - yourself and myself. It often hear the objection: "I already know what I want - anything I will not write". In order not turned out as in that joke about Tanya and Masha, who really wanted to get to the Tretyakov gallery, but the money was enough for only beer, you need a clear written contract. Otherwise it won't work or will work less efficiently. Do not be afraid of the words "contract" and "contract". No vests in five sheets, covered with small print will not. It's simpler than it seems. In order to learn how to write a contract for change - run the following in writing exercises (most of them taken and reworked from the book "Modern transactional analysis" by I. Stewart and V. Goins):

Exercise 1. Write what you would like to change in yourself or in your life, using whatever came to mind with the word. In order to better understand how it works and not to complicate your task, take one some simple problem.

Exercise 2. Now restate the goal using only positive words, not using negative words( "not," "must not", "shall not", "do not want", etc.). For example, the phrase "want to drink" - correct to read "want to live sober". Write a new version.

Exercise 3. Check if you're able to achieve the necessary changes. Ask yourself, did anyone ever do this? If the answer is Yes, your goal is feasible. Remember that you can only change yourself but not another person. Make the appropriate changes to the text if necessary and describe in detail what you want to achieve.

Exercise 4. Check that the goal was specific and observable. You and surrounding people must be able to accurately verify if you have achieved your goal or not. If the objective relates to changing relationships with other people - write their names. The goal should not be total and contain comparison. Samples of wrong goals: "I Want to work on myself", "I Want to be kind and sociable", "I Want to become closer to the people," "I Want a car like washi", etc. Over the achievement of such objectives, you can work endlessly.

Exercise 5. Write about how you will know you have achieved this goal? What you will see, hear and feel in this case?

Exercise 6. Write what are a symptom of the people around you will understand that you reached the goal?

Exercise 7. Think about whether the nominated target. Consider its possible social consequences.

Exercise 8. Ask yourself: why do I need to change? Think about how you want to change for himself and not to please others, to get someone's approval to harm anyone?

Exercise 9. To change gives energy to the Unconscious. In order to changes, it is necessary that the goal was clear to him. To do this, perform the following test, ask yourself: is it clear what your goal is eight-year-old child? If not, reframe it so that it was clear. And record the result.

Exercise 10. the Achievement of a goal always comes at a cost in the form of time, money, commitment, trouble, goodbye to someone or something, fear of change effects, etc. Think about what price you are willing to pay for the changes? What price are willing to pay? Then, after determining these prices, ask yourself the question: do you still want to change?

Exercise 11. Write how much time you'll need to come to the final change.

Exercise 12. Write five points that are necessary to achieve the purpose of the contract. When you define a specific action, specify how others will be able to judge whether you are moving to the goal or not.

Exercise 13. From the list, select those items that you will definitely do during the week, throughout the month, throughout the year.

Exercise 14. Record in the contract list of people who can help you in your change, if any.

Exercise 15. Write the final clean version. Make a copy of. One copy of hide in a secluded place out of sight. She was found by chance some time later and show you, whether you have fulfilled the contract, and if there is not much deviated from it. Will allow to work on the mistakes and make new, more efficient contract. Another copy of the keep always on hand to help you stay the right course. So when you found a second copy, wonder how exactly you have literally fulfilled the contract.

Nemykin Oleg
2018-06-26
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