Feelings can be contradictory. And it can confuse and bewilder.
the Child learns to see your mixed feelings about 5 years old, on average. This happens when parents help the person to pay attention to their feelings, called emotions and feelings that he was able to learn and understand. Now the development of emotional intelligence in children is gaining momentum, and this is very nice! But before that few people were interested in and paid attention to this side of the child's life - what he can feel, he's a child? Most importantly - fed, shod and clothed. Naughty - punish… not to get used.
When such a child grows into an adult, often it malonamate to themselves and can hardly make out what was going on in his sensory world.
for Example, a meeting with an old friend - like and joyful, but at the same time, and a little sad that so time quickly flies - a few years no see on the faces of both reflected the new wrinkles. And maybe even envy, mixed with a - a friend recently just got married and seem quite happy, and you with her husband for a few days of not talking. Because it's easier than to say sincerely about their experiences and desires. If all these senses to detect and to name, to understand their goal and purpose, to give them a place and permission to occur, then the contradiction between them disappears. And there is no anxiety and the unbearable screech of the cat's claws in deep. And even it is possible to consciously choose their attention joy at the moment, and the other feelings - not to push, and save. To work in a separate folder.
And what could happen if these experiences do not recognize? You will likely see the concern: “something prevents me to be happy, worried, it seems wrong, want not. I'll have to buy on the way home the cake that this anxiety to seize”. Is one of the options.
most Often, from such unrecognized inconsistencies need to get away. This happens because some of the feelings we used to consider wrong, unacceptable. Sadness, anger, envy… They may not like important loved ones, parents, to arouse a negative reaction and rejection, which was regarded as “reject me, when I feel it”.
But if you remove them an evaluation shell, and to accept the naturalness and necessity of such experiences, as rain or storm in nature - to be with you in contact when these feelings come flooding, it becomes a lot easier. As well as then let them, without taking in anxiety and guilt.
it can be Done gradually, footsteps, studying, learning, untangling, taking. The path may be long, but it leads to wholeness, and it is worth it.
Painting of Frida Kahlo "give me water."