When we criticize ourselves, to give up their desires, in our inner world manifested figures, which are called Critical Parent and Inner Child.
Critical Parent - this is a critical the installation received as a child from the real parents or people acting as caregivers. Over time, these facilities are so “root” within our psyche, which are perceived as private. They can be passed on from generation to generation. What in childhood was obtained from the parents, the children pass on to their children.
the Inner Child – the memory of the emotional state in the child, even when it is impossible to take responsibility for your life, and the child depends completely on others. Depending on the behavior of adults and their relationship to the child, the Inner Child can be spontaneous, open and trusting or fearful, uptight, wanting to hide, to be invisible.
And so, when we criticize ourselves, in our inner reality interact Critical Parent and Inner Child. It is useful to make this dialog visible, heard and perceived, it is possible to draw the images of the Critical Parent and Inner Child, and with the help of a psychologist to explore the interaction between these figures.
Example from practice. Consent for publication is obtained.
the Client is 25 years, it is difficult to spend money on different "womens stuff" to decorate themselves. "Inner voice" tells her that she will still be unattractive, it is impossible to be happy, you can not be beautiful, can not be like men.
She drew the images of the Critical Parent and Inner Child.
- In this figure, a Critical Parent, it ’ mother, the nose swollen with rage, his mouth spewing curses, and his eyes widened from fear and became like two black circles.
- that is afraid of mom?
- She is afraid of the manifestations of joy in me – of the child. This belief from her childhood, she clearly knows that to be happy is impossible. You can't jump, play, laugh, this is followed by the punishment.
- I see on the head of mom's horns. And over the head – cross. What's it to you?
- When mom's mad, she becomes like a hell, she gets it. And so God remembers to calm a little himself.
- Tell me about your Inner Child, what is it?
- My Inner Child came to me in the image of the pink Bunny, who is afraid of the wrath of the mother – monster. Suddenly she will carry out his threat and kill him. Bunny is preparing to run away from the monster.
- I see that monster is just a head. What happens if there will be still and the body?
the Monster is afraid that if will be the body, it will really carry out his threat and kill the Bunny. And so, when there is one head, she can't bring the Bunny real physical harm. It's like a rejection of the body of a monster happened to share his words and actions.
- I suggest to paperitehtaat and add the monster's body. Now you're not alone, I'm with you, together we will cope with possible manifestations of aggression mom.
- Now I see the body of a small child. Is on the monster, these are the words of his mother – my grandmother. Mother monster from childhood accustomed to the fact that a parent is threatening to destroy it if the monster is just a baby – alive and curious. Now the grown up mother monster behaves as she was taught in childhood and requires the same from his child, from me. The monster is afraid of acting – another, to differ from my mother, because then the mother can accept his other, the stranger and refuse it. Words: “You're not my daughter" is even worse than the beatings and insults.
- Your Adult part already know that when a daughter is different from mother's, a relationship between them still remains, they are still mother and daughter, right?
Yes, I know.
- What will change if that knowledge will show up at your mom's?
- It will be not a monster, but a man, a woman.
- How the mother feels in the female body?
- Insecure. As if she still doesn't have the right to their desires.
- What would have changed in the figure if she had such a right?
- it would give her a purse with personal belongings.
- As a mom feels right now?
As it now belongs to the Bunny?
- Now she sees a Bunny, and a daughter, and allows me to be a pretty girl.
Giving permission to change the mother, in fact, we give it to yourself. Because the image of the mother – Critical Parent – it's part of OUR personality. When the Critical Parent becomes more accepting, and changing the way Inner child. He has a right to Express their characteristics and desires. He becomes more open and alive.
the Other articles about working with Internal images:
How to return part of personality that – the lost "Inner child".
How Inner woman affects the generosity of men.