Criticism - it is harmful or helpful: how to learn to accept criticism?
the Mechanism of criticism is scientifically proven and explained. It turns out that the reasons for resistance to it lie in the distant ancient times. Our brain is programmed in such a way that we will be closed to protect themselves from blame. These concerns formed the ancestors regarding survival, fear of being outside the tribe.
Examples of our reactions to criticism:
"Yeah, not bad, but I would have done differently"... Familiar? I think, Yes. And these reproaches: "you Have again nothing happens...".
We compare and criticize friends, colleagues and even casual acquaintances. Some of us tend to flee, while others prefer to fight.
We expect that we will praise, and if the opposite happens, disappointed. In psychology this is called "confirmation bias" means a tendency to search for, and to promote information that confirms our own beliefs. But what about alternative possibilities?
we All react differently to criticism. "Well, what?", ‒? say impenetrable, thick-skinned characters who don't care about the opinions of others. Mr and MS susceptibility, on the contrary, too vulnerable. They react to the slightest comment and sidelong glance and begin to blame themselves. Others are protected, justified, referring to reasons beyond their control. "Oh, look at yourself!", ‒? aggressive retort. And there are those happy who perceive everything correctly. They know how to measure and listen.
How to respond to criticism
We are afraid to be criticized, rejected or funny. But those who know how to accept criticism, use it as a chance.
after criticism If you feel discomfort, ask yourself why. The source of discomfort should be seen as a compass to help you move in the right direction. Continuing to ask yourself questions and ponder the answers you get to the cause. Yes, at first the answers are likely to affect the external world, but will gradually apply to you. This means that the discomfort comes not from the person who subjected you to criticism. The cause within you: it can be a belief, a misconception, a similar situation from the past. The final answer should be such, which will help to remove the discomfort and begin to act.
it is Important to understand that we are criticized ‒? so, we are alive and someone cares. And this is the reason to listen. Criticism? a powerful growth catalyst.
do Not expect praise, if you want to succeed
It's about positive criticism ‒? well-intentioned, well thought-out and constructive. Although all of us is difficult to drop our ego and pride, such critics can be our best helpers. Besides criticism informs about how we are perceived by others. It teaches us to listen, helps to avoid complacency, to overcome weaknesses and become better.
for Example, you have a dream you want to realize. And suddenly she criticized, in your strength you do not believe. You can go ahead instead of listen. Moreover, in case of failure, you will hear: "we told you so!".
we All are not perfect, so criticism will sound in our address many times in my life. You need to learn how to manage it, eliminating all the unnecessary and leaving positive and constructive. People criticize, to suggest, or send us your own frustration? It's really only a vague or ambiguous alternative? Whether you realized It's really only a vague or ambiguous alternative? Whether you understood that was referring to the opponent?
In fact, criticism may become a stimulus to perform a new task, the beginning of a constructive dialogue, motivation to get out of the comfort zone. And to communicate with people who have more experience than we do, much more interesting and productive.
you Can conduct a simple but useful experiment: tell us about the situation for a loved one and ask how he would have reacted in your place. If you find that you did wrong, accept your mistakes. This is perhaps the most difficult step,but the benefit is obvious. A way out of the situation allows us to refocus and move on. Notice that the people making decisions and acting, are always subject to criticism? This is normal.
Where are the trolls and how to protect themselves from them?
The simplest way? not to ask their opinions. But sometimes people speak without prompting on your part. Why are they so critical? Why is it difficult to be positive? Most likely they missed something themselves. Criticizing others, they criticize themselves. And sometimes this verbiage speaks only of a banal envy and revenge.
However, the most common reaction to bad criticism, resentment or aggression. Although it is enough to remember one short but capacious phrase from the Internet: "don't feed the trolls".It is obvious that they provoke. Ignoring such provocations, the situation is controlled by you, not them. There is always a choice. Well, if nothing else works, just avoid these people.
And finally a few signs of bad criticism: it is based on their own negative experience criticizing, and she carries negatively charged emotions; the remarks are not based on facts, experience and knowledge that you can easily find out by starting to ask questions; opponent appeals to unreliable sources, refers to events and facts that you do not control (weather, crisis, possible illness, etc.)