Deferred life.

the
-now children go to a garden (school, go, get married), and then it will be possible to think about themselves!
Well...it's for special occasions! Then ...someday ...in another time...not now...
-Here after I'm done with the PhD (project, construction) then it will be possible ... but no time now!

recently I made some house rules and not easily made and lovingly put in a corner near a dumpster several packages of dresses, blouses and underwear. the
Things were just not in perfect condition, some of them I never wore. Now they are not sat on me, it just was not to their liking. But when I bought them I was delighted.

do you Know why I did not wear them?
I took care of them. Was saving for a special occasion.

Standing with packages on a garbage site I felt that not leave there clothes, and the very special case that I didn't let those become. I threw no clothes, and their emotions.

the same fate frequented my tubes with fragrant oils, gels, foams and other small pleasures. I also cherished. I came out so well that the contents of the tubes were expired.

What I feel when writing this? I'm angry. And I'm a little embarrassed to write this for other eyes. Myself I have long admitted. Yes, I've put off life for later and all the time was waiting for something. I don't know... some kind of signal, maybe something like the words "Camera, action" and the sound of firecrackers. Only the life is different. In life there is no multiple frames. If the moment is missed, it is not to beat and not a copy.

you Can just be late. At all.

A special case... they are not. Just no. Only we can give each situation a "feature"! Yes! It is in our power and it's great!
I have changed. This did not happen immediately. But now I sometimes catch myself of these ridiculous thoughts.

-It's just a meeting with friends, this dress is too, better leave it for another time...
I smile. No. Another time - that's another story. br>AND the MOST important AND SPECIAL EVENTS of MY LIFE HAPPEN right NOW.

And no, my note is not a confession. But perhaps someone it will hurt. Someone knows himself. What I wanted to say to her? We never know at what moment it could end.


the Illusion of immortality is only an illusion.
Now never again.


And if I want someone to hug, NOW is a good time. If I want to say I LOVE YOU, does it make sense to defer?
And if you're looking at close to do not understand why You are still together, you should not tell stories about children, mortgages and what people will say. Someday, You'll really regret the loss of Life.

With love and respect,
Your therapist
Anastasia Korepanova





Anastasiya Korepanova
2018-08-11
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