Today, the window is cloudy and it's especially comfortable at home and in the office. So I want to talk about something useful. For example, about such an important instrument of psychological help as NORMALIZATION.
What is it?
Normalization is a technique of empathic response that helps the person understand that it is okay that his reaction to certain situations is quite natural and normal. This allows you to get rid of the car and a small truck of guilt and shame, which significantly spoil life.
unfortunately, in certain public systems in which we find ourselves, some natural, live reactions/desires/actions of a person considered to be bad, unacceptable. And it's one thing if we realize: "So, OK, here are the rules, but fortunately plenty of places where this rule does not work", and the other when we have this "prohibition" take on himself – "I'm a bad/bad, because I feel/want something inadmissible". And all my neurosis.
I'm not talking about obsequiously values and laws (murders and other violence), and subtle nuances, which can considerably poison your life.
Here are a couple of examples for clarity:
"I'm a bad wife, daughter and person. My in-laws beautiful people who gave us so much and give, and I don't want to spend time with them every weekend. And to go to sea with them do not want!"
Agree that the unwillingness to spend every weekend with my parents very naturally. Adult humans tend to want to have the option)). Especially in terms of recreation. But how often, we are able to make yourself crazy, trying to force to love what is not love to want what you don't want?
"I think my son is a coward. It the dog didn't even bite his leg and pressed lightly, so he now crawls per kilometer. Pete won a little nose off, he's okay."
the Theme of parent-child relationship in this regard a separate sheet. Parents fall down is the number of rules, comparisons and recommendations that do not begin to suspect their child and themselves in the "abnormal" is very difficult. This creates a lot of tension in the relationship and very hurt to be happy where it is more than possible.
So before you dive into the abyss of guilt, shame, or condemnation – take a pause and look at your reactions or the reactions of their loved ones more closely. Perhaps the rule by which you assess them, ageing or works far not everywhere and not always.