– How do you feel?

– Normal. They want to have. And I think we need to go to a cafe.

We are accustomed to such conversations at the time, as there is a caveat. Normal – is not a feeling. But often the question about how we feel, we respond, what do you think (Hello, brain!) or what we feel (Hello, body!) Their experience of working with clients, rationalize and formulate hypotheses we successfully. With the body can be tricky, some have contact with him, others do not. But with feelings quite sad. So "feel nothing” or “feels fine” – the most frequent responses.

the fact is that, most likely in childhood, we are taught not to trust. Parents know better, as in the joke:

– Mom, I'm cold?

– No, you're hungry.

There also may include instruction and family programs: ‘do Not cry and do not invent, it does not hurt!” “Think of the doll, there is no need for such nonsense to be upset”. “Boys don't cry!” “Fu, cranky girl, for shame!”

Well, what are we? We do not worry. Only as adults uncles and aunts instead of taking time to recognize, accept, and live what occurs at the level of feelings, we, as a child, explain to yourself that there is nothing to be upset about the failed transaction or the fact that the guy left. Think… How many more there will be. And as if we feel nothing at all.

Why you should understand the conditions when we don't feel anything? Because if you ignore your feelings, the brain might lead us to a place where it would be right normally, but absolutely no joy. No joy. The feeling is very pleasant to live.

in addition, empathy, empathy, empathy – an important part of the relationship with the people. Agree, we will likely located to people emotionally alive than insensitive. Emotional balance and stability, allow us to be in touch with what brings life, to move towards themselves and others.

Sometimes it may seem that by opening access to the senses, they will now use to guide our decisions, but it is not. Just feelings – another piece of the guiding card, along with the mind and reactions in the body that helps us to navigate the terrain. But the feelings in any way do not dictate decisions and not override rational actions.

• allow yourself to feel what you feel. Even if others try to convince otherwise. Yes, I'm angry. Yes, it makes me sad, although some people think that the reason crap. But I live it like that. My feelings are. I have the right!
• get to know them and wonder how many shades of feelings exists. To learn how to name – are not the same, what to feel, but sometimes it helps. A list to help you.

• to Learn. Feel – it's a skill that can be developed. Importantly, empirically. One theory is not enough. you Can with a psychologist, who during meetings would draw you to the feelings and the fact that right here and now happening. And if you live surrounded by people who believe that to feel nothing – okay, maybe a few meetings with a psychologist – your way. In this case it is important support.
• However, something to do. Below I have recorded a little exercise that will help you gain contact with the senses. Stay tuned!

Sometimes, we just don't have the physical and emotional to feel.

– How are you?

– nothing…  feel Nothing…

the Reason may be stress or accumulated fatigue. The rhythm of life that does not allow not that to reflect, and to have lunch or five minutes in silence to stay.

What kind of feelings? To sleep it for a week, thinking about nothing! If you respond, you just need to recharge my batteries. Because to be in contact with the life and feelings (his and other people) too need strength. You need to save the resource.

pause all that you can. Delegate everything you can delegate. And do what you want. Under the criminal code, of course  However, often simple things: sleep, to lie a week in bed, cut off the telephone and nobody to see.

by the Way, in those moments, we come to the aid of the body that bypass the troubled mind puts us in bed, tossing some kind of disease.

Sometimes, feelings are so strong that it seems to make it impossible. It happens in situations of loss, the death of loved ones, during the difficult period of separation if you were a member of the disaster or accident.

Then it can work a internal fuse. Unbearable feelings are displaced and a state of "feel nothing”. Because it seems is unbearable. All the tears inside.

And if there's nothing to do in the coming months, and even years, we can avoid a new affection and closeness. Because what happened once not lived, not mourned and not released.

the Nuance is that we block feelings at once. Feeling no pain, don't feel happy. We don't give ourselves plenty cry, but laugh can not. From the outside it might look as if our reactions are frozen or muted. It seems that we don't feel anything'. In fact, to the feelings just denied access.

Sometimes, in the consultations, clients talk about the events of many years ago and suddenly tears. Many years have passed, and the tears now. Covers as if it happened yesterday. In emotions there is no Statute of limitations, and I have as a psychologist is no purpose to bring customers to tears or to all the polls roared. But I always applaud when feelings find a way.  So, soon will come relief. And train not lived feelings will no longer pull energy and strength. Having lived and grieve, we come to life.

• Sometimes it seems that if we give in to these feelings, they are like a tsunami washes over us and carry all around including ourselves. In fact, we can move in small steps. Themselves unable to regulate it. Pause as the children who heartily crying, and half an hour later laughing. And then again, crying. To meet feelings – not to grieve all the time.
• clouding, they are very fast. 15 minutes of anger can save you a lot of inner strength to control myself and to digest the indignation inside a week. How to do eco-friendly – at the end of the post.
• mixed feelings it is better to go with a psychologist. Especially when talking about the pain of loss, the loss, the mountain. On the personal (she cried “on the shoulder of the therapist” during the period of separation) and professional experience with the support to get out of such situations faster. Something that I could take up to a year, with my therapist lived for a few months. However, we are all different. Exact dates, when to let go and feel better for you, not name.

We may think we feel nothing, because I have a habit of suppressing feelings. To step on your throat. Silent. Smile where would cost to send the Mat.

We could learn to control myself in childhood. And now we may be afraid to Express her feelings for fear of being rejected, not understood, laughed at. Or may not be able to defend their own personal boundaries, for example, when strangers give unsolicited advice or similar pry. Then anger – a reaction to the fact that our borders are broken. And if so – that is also the reason to deal with the psychologist. What prevents to appear or defend yourself? Do we have an understanding of how we can and why not?

the Other extreme – when we long accumulating discontent, and then it like blows up! How hot can of condensed milk on the stove, exploding, covering everything in the kitchen. Us has so that gets all. All kill – one alone remains. Then we give ourselves discharge, but often destroy the relationship.

Psychic energy is indestructible. It accumulates in our body. Over time, tension, body stiffness. On – more: a new disease, aggravation of old ones. And how would any of us have taught in three, five, ten years, now, when we adults uncles and aunts to do otherwise – our area of responsibility. To "feel nothing" coming to sustainability to meet with their feelings and what brings us life. To be open to the whole range of feelings. And in their living to be alive.

Hygiene everything. To study ecological and methodically to live feeling without killing others. On this subject I have a great post with a video «How to get rid of negative emotions? 7 techniques self-help”

And finally, as promised above, divided by the exercise on the development of touch with their feelings. Save the page to your bookmarks or subscribe to my channel to repeat it as necessary.