This was passive-aggressive.
How to recognize
to Identify passive aggression is easy – your condition changes instantly. The source seems to have nothing bad to say, but you felt a bit of a kick, even if you do not have time to realize it. The mood is spoiled, I want to insult the man seemingly out of the blue.
Your feelings are not deceiving – the place is not smooth.
Why the man is telling a dubious compliments
as well as outwardly innocent, but in fact offensive jokes, climbs with unnecessary care and gives unsolicited advice.
Because he's afraid to openly Express your passion. If the person directly say that he doesn't like he'll get a conflict. With the conflict we need to understand to talk about the situation, to seek solutions, be ready to unpleasant options. It is painful and scary.
a ban on the expression of negative emotions often laid in childhood. Passive aggressors are almost never aware of their behavior.
it is much easier (think easier) to vent her irritation in a socially acceptable way. For example a compliment or a joke. Passive-aggressive statements are technically within the boundaries of decency. The passive aggressor honestly surprised when the interlocutor is angry: what did I say? Yes, you have a sense of humor!.
How to protect yourself
With masked aggression is harder to deal with than a straight line.
so, how to respond to evil compliments, a brief instruction.
- in Time to realize that this was passive-aggressive;Remember, what's wrong is the aggressor, not you;Remember that you can not be undone;Choose how to react. To choose a distance.
ignore the Full fit, if the person is a stranger to you.
The dearer, the harder they hurt rash words. To pretend that nothing happened – bad option. Environmentally friendly to find the strength to call things by their right names, to speak of feelings, boundaries. Perhaps, to discuss the visit to the psychologist.
And most importantly. When you are protected from passive aggressor, it is important to not become a striker is a rare achievement. For careful analysis of such situations requires the psychologist.