Eat, love, Tolstoy.

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the Birth, the first cry and the first food. Immediately after birth, for a child the mother's breast, it is the mother herself. During feeding of the child take on hands, is physical contact. The kid feels loved, protected. The mother's breast, feeding, firmly associated in the mind of the child with security, acceptance, love, automatic satisfaction of all needs.

as they Mature, the child learns to understand that the need for security, affection, love, physical contact, can be satisfied in other ways. Not only during meals, not just mouthing the mother's breast.

But this is true if the parents, especially the mother, teach the child other ways. Because it is often to calm the child, the mother takes him in her arms and habitually trying to feed. As often happens, if the mother is disturbing, badly distinguishing the needs of the child. Thus, it forms a strong link in the mind of the child: food=security, love, care, warmth, affection.

a mother's Influence is great, but then connect the other relatives, especially grandmothers. Grandmother at my age, these are people emerging from war and hunger. The food is a great value, synonym of survival. Good feed, then show your love to the maximum.

In an old movie about a summer camp, "Welcome, or no trespassing", there is an episode where a criterion for a good holiday is how much weight the child has gained during his stay in the camp.

This approach is good in terms of shortage of food, but today we have it in excess. Social conditions have changed in 50 years a radical, but emotionally, subconsciously, the man remained as he was and 100 and 500 and 1000 years ago. If the lack of food, to feed, to share food, this is the highest expression of love. When food abundance, feeding children at times turns into violence.

I Think many people my age have memories about how he was fed when he wasn't hungry. For some, it's memories about kindergarten and someone home and force-fed. It was impossible to leave the table without eating everything put on a plate. Or talked about the fact that mom tried to cook and need to eat. Some parents did trickier: a Spoon for mom, spoon for dad, for grandpa, for grandma. Like the best of intentions, but............ Violence, even under the guise of concern remains violence.

Another popular thing is to praise with food. When for the good deeds, assessment, that ate the soup, issued some Goodies. Or Vice versa, with candy, child, comfort, distract from something. Conditioned reflex. Joy, you have to eat. Grief, too, need to eat.

Again, when food was shortage, these actions were very useful. Even if you remember the courtship process, in its biological sense, without unnecessary romanticizing. Then a check on whether the male can provide food and protection for the female and offspring. Now, when there is prolonged periods of starvation, food is always available, is too much attention to it, leads to disastrous consequences.

one learns with the help of food to regulate their emotional state. Using food satisfies other needs. Care, protection, love, physical contact, etc, but he is often not aware of. Since the loss of sensitivity to other signals, everything is perceived as a feeling of hunger, desire to eat.

As a result, increasing the weight, people become less sensitive to their emotional and bodily signals. Growing dissatisfaction of people and the usual way of eating, trying to cope with it. The circle is closed. Corporal shell becomes thicker, harder to get to what he hides.

a shell of fat usually hides a lot of repressed feelings, from love to hate. Hides a huge amount of shame, tears, unspoken words, stopped the action. Fat armor often covers the vulnerable, fragile and often lonely soul. Although everything may look different.

it is Therefore important to deal with what's under that armor? But not in a hurry to get rid of it. Because if it is, then for something she needed. Gradually to clean up your emotional and bodily blockages. To re-learn to feel your body. Learning to hear him. Learning to understand their emotions and regulate them in other ways, not with food.

of Course, this is a difficult and long process but it's worth it.


2018-11-22
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