Quite a few can say with certainty that never in one degree or another had not touched their hand depends on partner. The issue this has a fairly subtle undertones, not everyone is willing to recognize its destructive power, which can break more than one life. Emotional dependency in relationships – it is a kind of psychological addiction, which manifested the intense and mixed emotions experienced in the process of contact with the object relationships.
anxiety symptoms based on:
Pathological jealousy, the desire to dominate, to possess a partner and control all that happens to him, other people – a threat to Your relationship.
- the Unreasonable fury or the deep lingering sadness when Your partner is distant psychologically or wants to be alone.
- All the free time You want to spend with your partner and have negative feelings, if not.
- For You exist only in these relations, all the rest is meaningless.
- Systematically Your thoughts are full of concern about appearance, personality and problems of another person.
- No desire to plan anything without involving his partner.
- You are able to really see the merits or shortcomings of your partner.
- Regularly talking about your partner, as well as from his person, attributing to him their feelings and thoughts.
it is Necessary to remember that the above symptoms are the norm in only two cases: children's age and the period of rapid love in the first months of a relationship (if the feelings and actions of partners mutual).
- Early loss of a parent or guardian
- Difficult child
- Psychological trauma that occurred in childhood (violence, death, etc.)
- lack of self-esteem
fortunately, this situation can be corrected. If there is no mental pathology, You will surely be able to cope and regain yourself!
1. Take responsibility for your psychological state.
Your mood and state can only control You if someone spoils your mood, it is only because You allow it.
2. Make a decision about recovery from addiction.
Write it, say out loud, leave this information meaningful to You.
3. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: “You want to overcome your addiction? And ready?”.
Theoretically, make a decision – this is only part of the issue, and start doing something concrete – is another way, so be honest in the first place, in front of him.
4. Imagine what You can sacrifice to get rid of emotional dependence.
it is important for You to clearly imagine what will happen if You don't overcome addiction (from ill health to prolonged depression) and how the events will develop, if You can win.
5. Take care of support.
Often the question I ask my clients: “Who or what can help you in this specific situation?” Sometimes, I answer: «No». But in the process it turns out that the client has support from his personal characteristics (determination, obstinacy, love of life, etc.), ending with dogs, turtles and plants – the inhabitants of the home client, but in another case I have, as a therapist, to which man has already come and this is the first step, where maintenance and support is carried out I.
If the client is working on a topic in which something needs to be changed or something to release/expel, somehow, try to hold a ritual of farewell: in this case, thank the addiction and say goodbye to it.
7. Develop a new format of relations with a partner.
Here's a simple sign can facilitate. Everyone has their own needs, responsibilities, and rightly so. The main conclusion: partners have their own interests and needs and that's fine. Our task – to share and understand personal and social boundaries of the partners in the relationship.
8. Specify for yourself what benefits and results will give You independence. At this stage, You need to clearly understand and imagine what the universe will reward You and You for his work and liberation from the pathological relationship to anyone.
Remember, a sincere recognition of the problem – already half way!