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the report of the international Commission on education for the 21st century chaired by Jacques Delors "learning: the treasure formulated the "4 pillars that are the basis of education: learning to know, learning to do, learning to live, learning to live together learning to be."

the First area is implemented according to Federal educational programs, the implementation of the rest depends on the development of emotional intelligence of the individual pupil, the learner.

the most Important task of training and educating the younger generation according to GEF is the successful socialization of graduates of educational institutions in modern society. But, despite the modernization of educational systems, the statistics of recent years is rich with examples of child and adolescent aggression, cases of suicide, somatic disorders, and diseases related to the conditions of learning. The data of psycho-pedagogical studies of children from different regions of Russia show a high percentage of emotional-volitional developmental delays, and psychotic disorders (50%) of the total number of the surveyed group, and this category includes children from families with different intellectual level and social well-being. This is due to low emotional competence of the parents and the difficult working conditions associated with a lot of energy and free time parents.

Very often graduates are successfully studying at educational institutions of different levels, are unable to work and realize their highest cognitive intelligence( IQ)in life, while studying the average level of cognitive intelligence (IQ ) has been successfully moving up the career ladder and have a high level of social adaptation to different conditions of modern society.

it is connected with the development of emotional intelligence (EQ) or emotional competence. There are several models of emotional intelligence Golman D., R. Bar, P. Salovey, John. Mayer and. consensus, defining this concept does not exist, but the authors uniquely define the 4 skills of development of emotional intelligence

1. The ability to recognize your emotions

2. The ability to recognize the emotions of others

3. The ability to manage their emotions

4. The ability to manipulate the emotions of others

the Basis of EQ – the ability to handle emotional information that we receive and transmit using emotions - the ability to choose actions that are most appropriate to the situation, the person should not impose emotions, ignoring the interests of the group must use their emotional repertoire consciously choosing that way of interaction, which at the moment is most effective and safe.

for Example, the ability to feel joy when speaking to an audience

the Ability to Express anger, even to raise your voice if necessary this situation

the Ability to remain optimistic in difficult situations, etc.

For successful socialization in society is not enough high IQ and a high EQ is not a criterion of successful socialization .If cognitive intelligence is high, then high EQ can be achieved easily, developing it daily.

Sensitive period for the development of the emotional sphere is the period of early childhood and elementary education. At this time, the children should get acquainted with the basic emotions: joy, sadness (sadness), disgust (contempt), anger (anger), fear (fright), surprise, resentment.

When selecting the most effective forms : drama games, narrative and role-playing games (e.g., "Director Himself" - sound cartoon), therapy, discussion of the actions and emotions of the characters of personified fairy tales, the play of these emotions, teachers and parents need to remember that the inclusion of emotions in the emotional repertoire of the child is necessary to use the system psychogymnastics techniques. This sequence allows you to "translate emotions into the language of the body".

the Warm up: it is proposed to be like a character. (What does he do when angry, sad, etc.)

1. Facial: enjoy reading as a character, poeticise as a character, etc.

2. Corporal: to sit as the character, walk like a character (pay special attention to hand movements)

3. Voice: Fizz as a character, to scream as a character, to speak as the character, etc.

4. Breathing: breathe like a character.

5. Eye: to look like a character.

the first stages in working with younger age groups of Doo, these techniques are appropriate to use based on the forms of poetry by A. Barto, K. Chukovsky. children's writers. In the future, all preventive and developmental activities of psychologists, extra-curricular activities of teachers should be planned taking into account the formation of the 4 skills of emotional competence. Every emotion needs to be otreagirovana. If not ,then there is a "shot in the muscle" and there is a somatic disease or delayed emotional development, preconditions for the emergence of psychopathic disorders and the emergence of dependent types of behavior. The child needs to understand their own and others emotions and know the ways of expressing her emotions and the reaction of others.

For the development of high EQ educators and parents need to follow some important rules:

1. To listen, accept and validate the emotions of a child

a Sense of identity, their "I" is based on awareness of themselves and their emotions. If no one listens to the child when he is crying, angry and scared and does not confirm that his emotions have a right to be, in the end, he ceases to realize what he really feels. Or he will not feel anything in the depths of the soul or hardens in the sprawling emotions instead of one's own emotional truth. The accompanying adult is required to avoid being emotional, he knew how to direct their energies, learned to Express their needs suitable way and knew not a danger to himself ,immersing himself in what he feels. Often children rapidly show their emotions. We must teach the child to calm down, not to reassure yourself. To do this you must take the emotion, acknowledging his stress. For example, you had a bad day; you don't like this thing, etc.

Then help the child to identify words what he's feeling, because emotion is a physiological response that is intended to convey the message .The role of the adult is to hear the message ,to listen to him, that the child understood its meaning and gradually learned to Express it differently.

2. Emotional intelligence needs to evolve every day, systematically, this should not be an atmosphere of permissiveness or excessive amount of bans. Need to ask questions, provide information and offer choices that allow the child to feel that he makes decisions, i.e. to contribute to the development of own resources of the child. Children imitate us .It is therefore desirable to live and let live children the experience that we want to teach them ,instead of to bring down in explanations, instructions and tips. If we call words that feel "I'm tired, I'm sad, I become angry etc .It helps children to do the same. If we ask them to tell what they feel the characters in the book we read or movie that we watch together ,it gives understanding of the emotional world ,and will allow you to get acquainted with their own emotions.

3. Communication, play and physical contact is a necessary condition for the formation of neural connections.

When needs contact with adults satisfied, no fits of rage and crying for no reason.

4. Meditation, breathing techniques, warm drink in small SIPS or straws, selection of products, learning to use the frontal lobes to curb reactions with understanding, not suppression.

5. Adults need to support the emotion so that he could feel it, but it was not overwhelming. For example, we embrace the child, expressing empathy: "it is sad" (sadness, anger, fear).You can't ask direct questions with the manifestation of these emotions. Instead of asking what's upsetting you?", better to ask "What upsets you the most. Similarly with fears. Our goal is not to provide ready-soothing explanations ,and to accompany him along the path of reflection, the issues and decisions that the child has developed personal strength.

Positive emotions are the basis of moral sentiments.

"having Survived at least one satisfaction from the perfect moral action, the child will seek to re-experience that feeling."

Using data forms and principles of emotional support will help to develop the children's sense of security. It is from this stage, the child begins to speak: "I" and make your choice of what to allow in the future not to be a prisoner of your own emotions and positively socialize in the modern world.

Literature

  1. Podolsky A. I. I don't understand their child. A book for parents of children 0 to 7 years. [text]/ A. I. Podolsky – M. : Eksmo, 2012 – p. 384
  2. Sertakova N. M. Methods of fairy tale therapy in social pedagogical work with children of preschool age: a manual for pedagogues and psychologists of the DOW. [text]/ – SPb: LLC "Publishing house "Childhood-press", 2012. – p. 224.
  3. Fiona I. What do I do with my child? A book for parents from 0 to 7 [text]/ I. Fiosa – Phoenix, 2012 – p. 73
  4. Shabanov, S. G. Aleshina A. B. Emotional intelligence [text]/ S. G. Shabanov, A. B. Aleshin // Ivanov and Ferber – 2016 – edition 3 - p. 720.
Inna Kravtsova