In this article I want to talk briefly about the principle of therapy of empty effort.
That generally means "empty force"? Blank force when you require do the impossible this time (stress and please note, it is "in the moment!"), due to the fact that the actions of some is definitely needed, but how and what do the people do not know, here it comes feelings about their own powerlessness in the face of difficulties. In this case you need to ask yourself several questions:
"How?" How are you going to solve the problem?
Example, you are trying to get rid of anxiety due to the fact that there is a risk (albeit in very tiny probability) that the plane you fly may fall.
is it Possible then to use step by step instructions to get rid of unrest? What exactly are you going to do? What would you advise me to be sure to get rid of unwanted alarm?
If you have no plan, then you are wasting your nerves, you still can not do anything to resolve the excitement. You just have to act (in this case to fly) not afraid, and not waiting until he leaves.
- Change incentives
Imagine the situation as if you already got rid of the alarm. for this to happen? You certainly will answer: I have successfully make it to destination or to abandon the flight altogether. True! the Circumstances must be different or, you need to move forward in time. But specifically at this moment you are still sitting in the airplane seat and prepared for takeoff.
Again conclusion inability to make your intention (to stop worrying) here and now. Yes, under other circumstances, when you already find yourself in the place of arrival, it is possible, but not now.
- "Wagon wood"
Here is the question of what you're ready for getting rid of anxiety. Sometimes we are accused of riot itself, because here they say I must be not trying hard enough, doing breathing practices, relaxation, and anxiety won't leave. "I'm probably not working!"
Ask yourself the question, if you said, "Come this way, ka unload a wagon of firewood (or suppose to work hard a few hours at the gym/runs ka marathon long distance) and your anxiety gone? would You agree to such a deal? I think, Yes. The client in therapy is typically ready for a lot just to feel better.))
Well, that leaves you with all my heart ready to make energy, but for some reason don't do it... the Answer is quite simple: the energy has nowhere to attach, nowhere to use it.
there is No way that is uniquely here and now to relieve you from anxiety.
Yes, if you were the Dalai Lama and practiced the breath for relaxation for many years, you would not easily let go of disturbing feelings at the moment. But yet you say you are) you, of course, has all the chances to train, but it takes time. And yet meditative and breathing exercises help not always.
Look at your Cup and try to see it in a different color (not in the imagination, and in reality, actually). Well, out?
Or try to get up and start moving forward, not backward, to the right, not the left, and without any direction. comes out?
Here also it turns out with your empty effort to force myself to stop worrying –you are trying to push ourselves to do the impossible.
- cash and Perfect "I"
Mean to you something of the concept of "personal growth", "road to myself", "development", "self-realization"?
If so, whether you have achieved personal fulfillment? At what stage in the path of personal development you are now? You have already gone all the way?
I'm Sure that you are not yet at the finish line, you still samosovershenstvovaniya and you still have at least a few steps up to the "ideal image", and may you and all in the middle or even the beginning?
Probably the "ideal you" in a crack of the fingers may get rid of anxiety for such a small thing like flying in a plane. But you said yourself has not yet acquired the status of ideal, you still learn, you still on way of development. So why do you require a perfect performance now? Or you decided to jump over several stages of development?
once you honestly complete all 5 stages, you will probably leave the voltage (namely, the worried feelings), because you will realize that all your previous attempts were not only as a way of thinking "to go there do not know where", and then perhaps you will accept the situation (in this case, be reconciled with the presence of unwanted anxiety before the flight), quietly learning to accept that change is not in your power.
as soon as you acknowledge that you have no power to change something, you will begin to realize other people, you will discover other possibilities will be obvious that you didn't notice because of tunnel thinking.
"God, grant me the patience accept what I cannot change give me strength change what is possible, and give me the wisdom learn to distinguish the former from the latter."
Today, we talked about adoption, and I hope that these questions will help you to detect empty efforts your life and redirect your energy in the right direction!)