the Good intentions of the parents may unintentionally give their children a lot of harm. Child psychologist Mike Leary told the newspaper reporter Ana Karttunen about parenting mistakes often encountered in his practice.
1. Providing too many options
Some parents believe that children should be as diverse as possible a choice. In fact, freedom of choice upsets and confuses children if they are always given too many options for this.
2. Praise for all
Some parents for no reason praise their children for everything they do. He becomes addicted to compliments and does nothing without them. According to Dutch-American explorers, the child, whose abilities and perezhivayut which are praised more than others, can develop narcissism (egotism).
3. The compulsion to be happy.
Even if parents and wish the baby was always cheerful and happy, life comprises not only that, but much more. This is the work of children is to learn how to be happy.
4. Excessive indulgence.
a Child learns to believe that only by achieving a result you can be happy. The outcome of such education can become an addiction or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
5. Excess employment
Many parents believe that such a sport can save a child from a wrong action. Excessive training and requirements can, in the worst case, to burn child to the ground.
6. The emphasis of intelligence
If to focus the child's attention on the high level of his intellect, he can become arrogant and think that everyone else is stupid. These children are not popular in their environment.
7. Strict religious discipline.
If a child lives with faith, created parent education that only strict religiosity and observance of the rules to achieve the real values of life and the way to salvation, he is lost, if begins to doubt the doctrines.
8. The ban on talking about sex
Some parents are afraid to talk about sex. The silence of the topic will not protect the child from problems – such as, for example, teenage pregnancy.
the Parent may think that indications of errors and criticism of pushing his children to success. The opposite is true: the child begins to strive for excellence in everything, but the disappointment in their success, he feels worthless. In the worst case, the feeling of futility can lead to suicide.
Parent should never make it clear to the child that he does not like, if you don't do as he wants parent. Threats — it's a short road that leads the child to the indifference, including in relation to the parent.
11. Excess of responsibility at an early age.
the Psychologist told me that he has customers who up to four years independently preparing meals and caring for their brothers and sisters. People who were too young to be responsible, often do not create their own family.
12. Equipment without limits
the Development of proper interaction between people will suffer if the child will have an unlimited variety of technical devices. This also applies to parents.
13. The child is never bored.
Some parents believe that the child needs constant stimuli and activity. For the development of creativity requires boredom.
14. Protection from disappointment.
the Psychologist told me that he had met parents who in good faith make and acquire everything for your child, and then genuinely surprised when the child nothing and no one respects. The child, including need and frustration.
15. A ban on violent games
Some parents are afraid that something will happen and not give kids rattling around in the yard and climb trees in the forest. Internal feeling “walking on eggshells" eliminates the development of many skills necessary to maturity.
Children feel loved and better sleep, if the parent is showing an inquisitive interest in what happened to the child during the day.
17. Child not read aloud.
a research Proved that reading aloud has many positive effects on a child who can't replace the video views.
18. Too earlier weaning from the nipple (dummy)
the Psychologist said that he had met at the reception of adults who secretly suck your thumbs. Some parents are ashamed when their child suck on a pacifier or finger. They can't wait for the moment when this need will disappear naturally.
19. Violence in food
“You hungry? You have a full stomach?” psychologists believe that this question is dangerous because it causes the child to achieve during a meal feelings of fullness and eat too much.
20. Slap the child
“He who spares his rod for a child, makes him evil”. So says the proverb. It is actually the opposite. Spanking makes a child angry, frightened and causes a multitude of behavior disorders.
P. S. my Translation