last week in schools in my city were all-school meetings for parents, with the participation of the inspector on Affairs of minors. An hour parents told scary stories about what do modern teenagers, for what they bring to the police station. Was given cases of teenage suicide, about the dangers of social networking and other gadgets on the deprave young girls, alcoholism, drug abuse, theft and other horror stories. Then recommendations were made on how to avoid our children have such behavior, which were kept to one, you need to CONTROL:
- that keep kids in backpacks, clothing pockets;
- where do they go from home;
- what games the children play in computers;
- in which groups sit in the social networks;
- "do not be lazy to check in the night of 3-4 hours sleep the children in their beds".
- to control, control, control...
frankly, I almost exploded from anger, listening to all of these recommendations. It was painful to watch for parents, filled with fear for their beloved children and are ready to immediately give a sentence.
Let's see what is CONTROL?
the Control is the pressure, breaking boundaries and rights of another person. Any pressure increases the resistance. When our rights are violated, we are rebelling, resisting, agressiruesh. Adult can do it in a constructive way without causing harm to himself and others. Child these skills does not yet possess, he will do so as best he can to run away from home, drinking, Smoking, cease to learn, will make trouble and look for trouble. He will do everything to show you he's entitled to do what they believe is right.
After the meeting rebellious children and confused parents will be more after some time again it will hold a meeting and it's a vicious circle.
For those who don't want to walk in a circle, not want to build relations with a child on fear, threats, blackmail, to those who want to save their nerves and to bond with a son/daughter so that they did not have needs in any groups, escaping from home, suicide and other destructive behaviors:
- talk with your child about whatever he was thinking, what dreams, what events were for the day, what is the relationship with friends, teachers, not as an interrogation, but as an interest.
- Ask the child on different occasions, in those areas where he is better understands, he can go to tutor in English, then you can ask a translation of the words. If he goes to art school, ask advice about combinations of colors. And most importantly, it will give you great advice on how to improve the relationship between you.
- Tell him that you love and are happy that you were born he/she just what he/she is
- Often hug, eye contact, praise for every little thing, admire, pay attention to successes and achievements.
And then, your child will not need to run somewhere, he has everything at home, and most importantly he has you, loving, understanding, forgiving, unconditionally accepting.
Love and understanding!
If you are confused about the relationship or you cannot comply with this recommendation, call, write, I will be glad to help you.
P. S. in your town was like, how your attitude?