What is happening in our hectic world?

it is Impossible not to recognize the increased complexity of the cultural and social structures, which now runs our lives, and the presence of strong influences that weaken and sometimes destroy the family as the primary structure that meets the emotional needs of the child. Under pressure of the uncertainty of the future, under the pressure of compulsive informing and entertaining the mass media, under the weight of artificially growing needs of the modern mother feels involved in some fight and is on the verge of a crisis, trying not to succumb to despair. The world is contradictory and full of conflicts. Her sensitivity is dulled, and it is natural, when on the TV every few seconds the message about the horrors of the next war are replaced by the pretty - cheerful advertising. The mother is trying to read more, to learn the necessary recommendations, but the recommendations are contradictory. Meanwhile, the irritation reaches the point when simply no strength for anything. Her home is filled with devices allowing to do any job with ease. But what she really needed is a means for establishing order in chaos, a tool that would help to separate the important from the unimportant and in the end to find a realistic answer to a painful question: “How to raise children?”

What do most parents?
  • Most parents intuitively feel that not changing yourself, it is difficult to change the behavior of the child, but not knowing what to do or not wanting to take part in it, tend to drive the specialists of the child, if they can afford it.
  • Many others prefer to distance themselves from problems of education, considering his family situation is like Pandora's box, which it is better not to open.
  • fashionable reading Some books, browsing the relevant sections in Newspapers, they are pursuing a policy of “tolerance” in the hope that “awkward age” will be based on the dubious idea that indulgence is not a bad thing.
  • someone Wade through the jungle of educational problems with a weak base : “at least I'm older and therefore know better”.
  • Some use their parent advantage pretty tough, “educating” children's shouts and kicks.

Questions remain unanswered, and while a small child, few parents think that the day of reckoning comes about during adolescence, when “he becomes stronger than me”. And that is a problem for parents and children. It should not be.

So where do we start?

–And we start with ourselves!

the Best way to help children is to help their parents. If parents do not like the behavior of their children, this does not mean that only children should change. If You have a difficult child, he doesn't get better from what to be dragged from one specialist to the next, nothing changing at home.

of Course, there are many professional experts in the field of education, including child psychologists, who carried out a correction of behavior. Bringing the child to a psychologist, want to “remake” or “re-do”. However, if the alteration is not for the parents, all these efforts are a waste of time and money.

what to begin With those who are preparing to become parents?

Existing programs for parents, practitioners work with parents usually includes instructions on how to behave during pregnancy and childbirth, as well as information for caring for a newborn. Often involved a selection of books and movies depicting the idyllic life with a newborn baby. However, almost never exposed to a serious consideration of the relationship between the husband and wife who are or intend to become father and mother.

If the family has some psychological complexity, the birth of a baby, of course, can lower their value, because the child is most important. However, not being resolved, these problems continue to be a source of complications for both mother and father in the very first months of a child's life when the Foundation is laid for its further development.

the Child is in a normal condition due to the well-being of the people close to him. Sometimes a child feels distress, but if mom is happy, then he has to hold on and become the consequence of a happy man. If his inner circle is characterized by a strong installation problems, then the child will be constantly faced with everyday troubles, for example bad behavior or unwillingness to learn.

it is Easy to understand that just relying on adult a young child can master effective ways of existence. Because children learn by imitation. And most effective for a child's method to develop the ability to self-control is the ability to see their parents.

Psychologist Tatyana Kolesnik.

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