(From my observations, accumulated over the past few years of working with families). In those days , when the trees were large , and I fit on grandma's lap with rapt attention was listening to her intimate conversations with her friends about the marriage was clear to all . Grandmother believed (and it was a very authoritative opinion): to get married needs a nice girl , a child must be born in marriage and , no matter how difficult life together, divorce is a shame. Therefore, enduring to the last. And in this scenario were then many, trying alcohol and secret betrayals to diversify employment marital life. What now? How much water has flowed since then. How much has changed in this life and in human relations. Yes, of course , people still get married. But not so rabid . And pregnancy is now rarely the cause for many unions. Appeared surrogacy, sperm donation , IVF . Now the child can to bear and raise alone. The most common history of present marriage - they are not so young as before . The desire to live together and share household occurs later, if ever, occurs . Joint running career breaks stable hierarchy in the family and keeps the woman in a constant inner conflict : what is more important - the family, motherhood or career? Where , in what direction to go? In the classroom I often hear from students: worked until the job was sick, had children and sat with them until they had a desire to get away from these children. I have the feeling that many women exactly escape from work into motherhood and then run away from maternity in the work. To combine it is possible not always. Hence the frequent dissatisfaction , guilt. Technically, the life of the family is very relieved , marriage freed from most household chores . However, these same concerns - to defend the place to the store, cook dinner for the family , to plant potatoes in the garden - United, filled with meaning life together and is often used to substitute for other relationships that are now coming to the fore. The partner is now expected not so much material support and contribution to the economy, how much mental understanding, emotional closeness, psychological support. However, this is not just given to women, and men quite difficult . For them to be sensitive and emotional at times more difficult than to perform the usual function in the family to earn, to provide. Marriage is not always the most desired option of people's lives . As if once the majority of Soviet women were quite satisfied with the decorations in the form of standard gold earrings and rings with cubic Zirconia for now each is trying to find something special and unique. And in relations with the partner each now trying to find something valuable.

Angela Zubov
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