the

while growing up we swallow family installation and messages, without chewing. Just because they are our parents and we believe them. Our task as they grow older - to digest it all, and those that are appropriate to take in a conscious fashion. And those that do not fit, are outdated, do not correspond to me - to leave my parents. the
Messages can be explicit ("you're stupid, you'll never succeed", "you better put on the appearance, not the mind"), and hidden, and not recognize.
If, for example, always told me "shame on you, what will people think?", wanting to grow me as a conscientious, honest man, what I studied, really? The fact that other people's opinion more important than my comfort, you have always opinion to remember, and in any case is constantly to be ashamed of. Never guess at what point people think about you. And then my job is to think, and it's all for the people I so ashamed of, whether they exist at all, and whether or not their opinion is so important to try to adjust his life? Maybe they sit and think: "here is the man who calmly tolerate the chaos of the house, and I scrub every day from anxiety, Oh, how I envy her ability to not sweating!".
Or all Teens have you heard, "Oh, you're selfish, and only want to walk or beds to lie down while I squirm, I see nothing on the nose, bummer." Must be so in man wanted to cultivate hard work and mutual support. But what one could learn? What to do my life is selfishness. You would have to guess that I want another man to be constantly on the alert, we cannot relax. After all, the other will not be able to say: "please help me", I should be able to offer assistance. An egoist is someone who thinks about themselves and not about me.
Another great message: "you with such a character, the marriage will not take anybody". And everything arrived. So do not take what you take - not specified. The question of whether the girl married, did not rise. What can be concluded? "Something wrong, try to guess what", "you're not comfortable, we're such a reject, and the whole world too, if you do not feel comfortable".

And of those things in my head a lot. Everyone has their own and obepechenie. If you write on a sheet of paper all of their significant adults and the message that you heard from them and felt (to himself, about life, about relationships, about money, etc.), that is, the probability is very surprised.
Our parents fed them to us no harm, (unless of course they are not secret torturers or sadists experimenters). They believed that this would help us in life or simply repeating what he heard from his parents.

Our goal is to stop, digest, discard what is not suitable to continue their lives without unnecessary load.


2019-02-21
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