a story about – "Who we are as a family", distorted, inappropriate reality representations of family members about themselves, each other and the family as a whole. Myths do not have sounded, they are family. Track the consultation process is difficult, only in the description of the family in General terms, you can slip the phrase-slogan: "our family is always all equal, we are for equality!"; "We are very happy family!"; "In our family and there was not the laborers, only the leaders, only the elite. We're the chosen ones!", etc.

There is a family of heroes – the grandfather the war hero dad firefighter, and the son's grandmothers across the street and puts this boy maybe no one gave the installation perform heroic deeds. A family is setting our men heroes! There is no hero without tragedy, and to become the hero of a tragedy is necessary if a certain save will not rescue, and so in families where there is a myth of heroism, there are always strange death, accidents, specific professions – priests, doctors, volunteers, etc. and in the family system with this myth sooner or later will be a tragedy.

Example, was approached by a young man with a high level of anxiety. In the course of therapy revealed a strong fear of disappointing his father and grandmother. In his family system of the ancestors there was one older woman and she is the founder of the family myth, that is, she invented it, she believed it and aired all my life all my relatives. "During the great Patriotic War, and her two small children fled the besieged city, making his way at night through the checkpoints between the guards, fearing that the children Wake up and cry. Fasting for weeks and paying all that you will find children with frostbitten feet of the last forces". Only a hero could do everything that was in this myth. And no one denies that these stories were in the war, but in this family, one of the idle clever (teenager) and family history researcher came across a large number of goofs, but now not about it.

And the most interesting that this grandmother hates children, since formed a "Family rule" children are life-threatening. Because if she was without children, the probability of survival would be a lot more than them, or escape was not necessary. But she's a hero, she has a son and daughter, from the son of one grandson, the other two grandchildren died (because the hero's family) and all this because of patterns of behavior, which she passed on to her son, he his children and all the provoking situation when you need to be a hero when life is in danger.

And now this young man doesn't want to conform to this myth, he does not want to be a hero, he wants to travel, to grow and to live for his pleasure, but internal conflict does not give him this opportunity. He wants one side to live his life as he wants it, in the other hand he wants to belong to his family, but this is only possible if it is to maintain the myth of the family.

There is a wonderful myth that is very common – "strong women!"

in order to was a "strong woman" needed someone weak. The strong person is the one who consults, not only for themselves but also for the other guy, this hyperfunctional. And if a woman is she needs a guy who can neither do for themselves, that is, gipofunktion. A strong woman needs a strong man, then she will not be able to maintain the myth of the "strong woman" and will not automatically belong to his family. So if a woman from such a family will want "simple female happiness" it will be necessary to deal with the plant and freed from the needs and hopes belong to this group, prepare to be unaccepted and rejected. Painful, scary, but the only way possible to realize his freedom, love and respect.

Sipacheva Elena
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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