Fear to grow up: 8 losses, which can not accept "eternal children"

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Children often fantasize about how great it is to be for adults. We can do whatever we want, eat anything, stay up late, party all night, fall in love and to have fun. Children see adult life as free from any restrictions, but bitter experience tells us that this is not true. With growing up comes responsibility, have family commitments and difficulties in career and romantic dreams pale into insignificance. br>
as we grow older, we evolve and change our view of the world. We lose our naivete, fantastic thinking, faith in heroes and villains and black-and-white ideas of success and failure. Children see themselves as endowed with limitless potential, are immortal and invincible. They rarely think about their own vulnerability. Losses are inevitable on the path of growing up is the rejection of fantastical thinking, loss of faith in "they lived happily ever after" and belief in his own omnipotence. We understand that life is not a fairy tale, which should always be a happy ending. br>
Any loss that accompany growing up? br>
1. The rejection of fantastical thinking. When childhood ends, we cease to believe in "magic helpers". We no longer look forward to flying carpets, seven-League boots or good Jinn, fulfilling our desires. We begin to look at the world critically and not through rose-colored glasses. br>
2. No "happily ever after". We begin to understand that life does not continue forever. We'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the Prince. Sometimes our heart is broken, love can end, and a romantic attachment doesn't last forever. br>
3. No immortality. Adult no longer consider themselves immortal. They understand that just people – vulnerable, prone to disease, injury, aging and death. We are aware that all who are born must die, so it is important what kind of legacy we will leave after his retirement. br>
4. It's complicated. Life is not as simple as we thought as children. This is a difficult and thorny path, with unexpected twists and turns, dead ends, forks and winding paths. br>
5. The lack of heroes. Parents in the eyes of a child – his saviors and protectors. This "safety cushion" between children and the outside world. And the first significant loss are illness or death of parents. Most children are not ready to accept parents vulnerable and able to die. It is not easy to accept the idea that their parents are not invincible mighty giants, and ordinary people with their weaknesses. br>
6. Loss of impulsiveness. Adult can not act impulsively. We need to consider the risks associated with our actions. Children is not peculiar to logical thinking. Therefore, they cannot predict the consequences of their actions. Adults more difficult to take spontaneous decisions, because they are able to change their lives forever. br>
7. Loss purpose. We lose the purpose in life, when you finish a career, entering retirement, divorce or children leave us as adults. We age, and our life's purpose changes over the years. br>
8. Loss of attraction. People who don't want to grow up, struggling to retain a positive self-image. They maintain a youthful appearance by fighting wrinkles, gray hair or changes the shape. This behavior is due to "magical thinking" — the denial of death. On a subconscious level they believe that death will happen to someone else, not them. They create your ultimate ideal image as an infantile defense mechanism, using it whenever they overcome thoughts about aging. br>
What prevents people to grow up? Fear of failure, loss and loss of purpose in life creates a protection that can save you from the fear of death, but become an obstacle to personal growth. br>
Maturity involves awareness of the limited resources. It forces people to accept her loneliness and vulnerability, along with the unpredictability of life. Making aging a part of his world, you open up unlimited opportunities for self-discovery and expression.

Kupreykin Julia
2018-10-22
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