Fears in relationships



Every person comes into adulthood from childhood. From my childhood, which establishes the rules, procedures, traditions, and ways of communication etc. our parents and other significant adults, and not their own. So when you grow up faced with contradictions, because the patterns that presented in childhood, influence our choices and our destiny. 

We dream of a good relationship, and are destroying family grievances, insults, claims, betrayals 

We wish to live in comfort and well-being, but don't allow money to come into our lives, we think we are unworthy, stupid, losers. 

We want to look good and be healthy, but hurt themselves by eating junk food, alcohol, nicotine and other chemicals, too lazy to lead an active lifestyle. 

we believe that We will raise happy, kind, independent children. When children are born, the man does not consider their views and indicate how to live. We impose to our children the family patterns that are passed down from generation to generation, and not think about the fact that these patterns may have become obsolete and ceased to work.

this is All caused by our fears.

• We are afraid to be themselves, to show feelings and thoughts because they are afraid to be not understood, rejected or judged. 

• We are afraid to show weakness, emotion, love for fear of betrayal. Therefore, prefer to closed in itself and callous, indifferent robots.

• We are afraid to take responsibility for their actions, their desires, their lives. Because it's easier. To give control of their life, parents, husband, wife, Yes, even the government, and then if something goes wrong, blame others, and not yourself for a broken hope… 

• We are afraid of loneliness, therefore, cling to men and women who deliver the pain and humiliation. 

• We are afraid to be unloved, and therefore set the conditions to their elected representatives, in order to get a confirmation that we are loved.

• We fear new relationship after a bad experience: after all, it will happen again. It is better to be alone than to experience again the pain of the relationship. 

Each person brings an individual set of templates and fears in the relationship. Why? What is the solution? What can I do? What are the recipes? 

these questions the article does not answer, as everything is very individual, most importantly, that THERE is a solution♥


Author's article, first posted on the website sapphire-tver.ru


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