a Subject that does not lose for me its importance and today it is assimilyatsiya a lot. Important experience of becoming.
Now I can't remember any of his male client in psychotherapy to have a healthy relationship with the father/stepfather. And in most cases have met those who have father was from an early age (more often around 3-5 years) and raised the boys, future men as a rule in same-sex relations between women - mothers and grandmothers, under the strong influence of the mother complex.
Where can we find masculinity, independence and experience a relationship with a man, with for adults, developed and sustained. To create the experience of continuity. To develop your inner core.
For me personally, this is my experience of growing up. And then my experience of the establishment as men in their own individual psychotherapeutic work and in my life. It's a big, long, important experience, similar, conditional on the Assembly of the puzzle. Thoughtful and neat, with clearly delineated boundaries.
In my male becoming a father was not. He was somewhere far away with their dependencies and some very strange life.
But, while he played for me an important and meaningful role in my life many very polar feelings for him that was a lot of anger and frustration. This experience taught me to be strong, not to be like him, to be to others, and thus to become and be himself. br>
one winter night (10 years ago) I came home and everything was different. He didn't watch TV for the first time and warmly welcomed me by asking so close and intimate: "How am I doing?", I remember that even confused, replying that well. In this confusion, I felt his presence as never before. I felt his desire to give, it is regrettable that for so long he couldn't be around to raise me. I felt his pain, remorse and longing for the last time, which was not to return.
It was clear, warm and unexpected. I wanted to get these feelings. It was so brief and so full.
a day later called his sister and said that he had died.
And this last meeting with him was so even clearer for me. His wet eyes at the moment of farewell handshake told me that he was always with me. Said that men feel, react and are very lively feeling and also vulnerable.
It was a transcendent close unexpectedly thin and experience connection with the generation, which managed to feel and understand.
now I tell him "Thank you, Daddy."
Thank you for what you could give and gave, for not being able to give, but I know what I really wanted. I was able to take and accept.