Finding yourself. Loneliness or psychological oasis?


Part one. "I'm afraid that personal therapy leads to loneliness..."

And I would like to write that this is a groundless fear, but not write.
Any therapy/other means of movement to his lead to internal changes. Internal changes manifested externally. And, first and foremost, in relations with other people.

Growing up and the healing is always a process of understanding their own feelings, desires, is always a movement towards a "centre" is the creation of increasing one's own integrity and enhancing resilience.

Psychotherapy is the path of inner (and outer) freedom. In this way, greatly changes the picture of your world.

what was (seemed?) important and valuable, it ceases to be.
that has not previously been possible, becomes evident and meaningful.

the Veil from the eyes subsides and see the world (and the people in it, of course) in new ways. People of your "past" environment starts to trigger new feelings.

Those people whom you thought/and loved ones, cease to look like. And it does not necessarily mean you lived with monsters, just not noticing, but I saw it and was horrified and run hair back!!! (though so too can be).
it is possible that this dear good people, but now with them for some reason, nothing to talk about and to be silent... Well, yeah. Like this.

And in this place lives our anxiety/fear - and suddenly I'm all his entourage will lose, and the new find? And will remain alone. Very understandable and quite justified fear.

I tell you what: Yes, you can lose. No, even so: you will move yourself, be sure almost all of the "old neighborhood" will lose. This does not mean that you will quarrel at the most can not (though so too can be:), but the distance is definitely increased, or these people are generally quietly disappear from your life. br>
Scary? Too scary? Breath catch and her hands sweating? Then slow down:) hang in there a bit, not worry about yourself.
I'm not being sarcastic, I'm serious. br>
Although usually all happens as it should happen. No one can jump over his head - I'm talking about the inner work and not about the acrobats, they can:))

of Course, everyone has their own story. Sometimes powerful awareness leads to the fact that there is a need for a sharp break with all past life and environment. And then really need to be prepared for the period of acute loneliness. To stay this time excellent support will work with the psychologist.

In most situations, it is long and fairly smooth process of "withering away" of unnecessary now ties, "forking" is not close now people. Accommodation of these losses and the realization that I need and I feel better, and that perhaps now the only way.

Then, as I see it, many simple acceptance of reality. Here she is, yeah. Sad? Well, perhaps, Yes. And could it be different now? In the old way? No. Can't. Are you sure? And if here so to try it, might work? No. Will not work. And, well, OK.

turning away from the past, turn to the future. And for that to happen, you first need to turn to yourself:)

PS. My immediate surroundings over the past 10 years has changed completely. I used to think that "friends are forever". First, a school "forever," then see "forever," then "adult" company. But no:)

Part two. Life in the "mental oasis".

Before I could hold a conversation with anyone and relatively quiet to be around all kinds of not close to me on spirit people (see, the fact that they are not close to me, - not always recognized).
the Last time - no. Don't want to. Of course, when there is a real need - can. But doing everything possible to such necessities as small as possible. (A word what is the need! Not to circumvent! Exactly:) And "normal heroes always go to bypass!")

of the many contexts (real and virtual) I want to quickly leave, which I do. And often without explanation. If you cannot go physically try not to contact and talk cease - gently (but sometimes really like this one:). Sometimes you just turn on "anthropological interest" - see what happens to people wonderful that works - communication, self-expression, life...

how do you mean? Any violent communication. Where yelling or choking intonation, or masterfully manipulated. And no matter whose address is in the address (yeah, tried it in my b:))

From any lie leave now. Lies mainly not in the sense of a conscious invention, but in the sense of not-nastasescu. The dual message is unbearable. Is bad physically and, if that person/people to me not so important, quickly turn the conversation and dump it under any pretext. However, even if significant, but don't see in the moment the possibility of open confrontation, is also blamed. Yeah. Self-defense.
And if you have the need and power to openly clarify, clarify. Honestly, I have yet occurs less frequently than care. br>
From the formal communication, usually, too. That's all superficial - as it is a pity to waste time...

I live in a psychological oasis. Yes.
Communicate with those who loves me (and whom I love) or, at least, takes.
we Talk generally about the important. That evokes feelings and doubts. About where you need support.
Or just silent together.
Or neigh.
Or eat and drink.
Together relaxing, listening to music, walking or dancing, or lounging on the large sofas/grass/rug, or looking at the water/sky/people/flowers/arts, or steaming in the bathhouse.

I very quickly (immediately) began to feel his people. That's right see. And a few of them.
Well, that is enough of them in my environment - professional and about. And this is an extraordinary value and joy and warmth! Each one is a treasure!
But when I go to the "big world" (which doesn't happen often, yeah), you know, like "we are terribly far from the people." That's nice!

Julia Bogacheva
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