under the heading "Ask the psychologist" voiced the following story:
"happily married with two children. Good job. The house is comfortable and no problem in the relationship. However, at work recently had a colleague, with whom you have a mutual sympathy. Constantly like drops a minute, to communicate, much found points for communication. I feel that he likes me, I told him, too. I am pleased even his casual touch. Just melt. Soon, corporate, dedicated to the anniversary of the company, I'm afraid I can't help it. What to do?"
Consider the question from two points of view: rational and emotional.
1. The family is still stably and steadily. Comfortable, understandable, familiar. Without emotional outbursts and passions. Ie, the sensual side of a relationship is dulled, the emotional field in the family and in relations with the husband, most likely have faded into the background. We get stuck in a routine and get the vision of family peace, but fall into boredom. Obviously, as often happens: everyone is working, there is daily life, understand the business and concerns is likely clearly defined roles, duties and responsibilities. But to discuss it is not accepted. Say: what you don't like it, you're good.
However, the emotional component is very important for each of us. And especially in male-female relationships.
There, you can say a contradiction: we all need stability and bezopasnosti, and we receive it by entering into a serious long term relationship. But no less important to us novelty. Sometimes being in the comfort and stability that many people ask the question: what happened to all the nice? Why is my novelty, attraction and awe? br>
2. And then we move on to the second part – what's going on with our heroine at work. She gets what she lacks with her partner, her husband. The novelty, interest, romance, attraction, touching, and other emotional-romantic feelings that she receives from an employee – no longer available in the family. But the need remained. And believe me, it remains important and relevant regardless of the duration family life. Moreover, the more interested it becomes in the family, the less the novelty and the attraction remains. And sexual attraction, shared values and interests for the two of you spend time together is a very important component of a healthy relationship. br>
so what to do?
- Remember that building relationships is a mutual mutual goal two, "the dance that is performed in the Duo". If one does not dance (not included in the process changes, improvements) is not a dance, and solo performance. br>
- to Refresh family relationships. Look at your spouse as a stranger (woman), remember that joy and brought pleasure to the two of you in the days when you were in love with each other.
- Allowing to flirt, and to obtain admiration from others, think about how fleeting "office romance" can harm your relationship. This can be essential. If there is the value and importance of family. br>
- Talk to each other not only about the daily tasks and the usual things. Understand for yourself and tell your partner about what you are missing in the relationship, take the initiative, interest, do something pleasantly unexpected.
- Joint life is not just life, everyday life and raising children. A very important emotional side: Hobbies, values, interests may change, and it is desirable to compare them with each other periodically. All this will no doubt strengthen family foundations and will fill your life with novelty, emotion and pleasure. br>