....How we respond to beggars? Someone silently gives alms, someone is indifferent, someone is forced indifferent, and there are definitely those that angrily suggest to go to work, aloud or silently. So often begging or children (or send their children), or "good reason" (house burned down, need to treatment etc.) - because it's rather not to run into aggression.
Because the appearance and condition of the victim provoke her.
This is the promise: "I am weaker than you". And one of the first subconscious reactions - sense of superiority. Even if we help and sympathy - often from the feeling of superiority at this point. "I Have more than you, I can give".
So the victim gets what he wants help, attention, energy. So we, like, get - the feeling that "doing fine".
But there is a caveat. And is there then a feeling of emotional exhaustion or irritation after this contact? If so, it's about what we have "taken away" part of the resource. We are not voluntarily given, and - we - took. And then we become the Victim, and the former sheep in our eyes is transformed into the Aggressor. And this story is sometimes repeated in different ways, and with different people.
What is a Victim complex? First of all, a certain state. The perception of themselves as weak stream and others. With a lot of obvious and hidden benefits.
What to do with it?
nothing, if it does not interfere in my life :)
If you interfere, you find it difficult to spare, you are afraid of the guilt, or you blame yourself for the "callousness" remind yourself about "games people play". No, it's not about what you "bred". About the fact that you willingly, without hesitation, ready to "play".
the Victim - Aggressor - an ancient game with clear rules. Better not to get involved in it at all. To help consciously, just because you want it. But if right it is impossible to say "no" and you're in mixed emotions is the only way through aggression. His or someone else's.
Aggression is the word "no".
It: "Yeah, I guess... But I really have to go".
You could say something like: "Yeah, you should probably take a break and not take any more attempts". And then there is a chance that the Victim will resent your "callousness" and through the aggression will come from your complex.
the tear a stream of complaints and recognition of the other weak there is always aggression. And it helps to "return" your time and mental resource to you.
And the Victim is angry. And then her chances of success increase significantly.