For offended/abandoned (temporarily or permanently) partners.


first, just want to say that I feel abandoned in the moment when you feel love for your partner - it is very painful and can seem unbearable. But it all goes away. No one but you/most will not survive your feelings. Even the most difficult feelings of loss and loss must be experienced, processed and integrated into our life experience. How do we hard it is, we can survive only within themselves, calling on their inner resources.

second, your ex-partner separate from you. He has the right to live as it sees fit, to love who wants to love, nobody don't owe us anything, no one is obliged to love us in response to our love. We are all equally free.

If the partner decided to leave - you have to deal with it. You can't force another person to love, if he no longer love you.

But, sometimes a partner until he has cleared his mind and just took a timeout. Then it is necessary to wait: it is not necessary to call and force him to answer questions, or even turn off the phone and change the passwords and turnout.

no One likes when approached with questions like "Why don't you call me", "do you Have another girl/boy?", "Why don't you love me, do you regret it?" etc. Is controlling the meek, gentle adhesion - akin to the aggressive violation of the boundaries of your partner. Unauthorized intrusion. Expansion. An unspoken Declaration of war. Therefore, all these activities will only cause aggression.Leave your partner alone.

he again wanted to go (or return) to you - leave him alone.

If you calm down and deal with my life and will not break their control rung in his life, it's likely that your former partner can calm down and remembering how good you used together - to call you himself.

And then - how would you not want to pour out on him their feelings, assurances that it is difficult/unbearable/sad/ etc. etc. - this should not be! It is not necessary to utter to him their complaints, suggestions and grievances ("could congratulate happy new year" or "well, new just dumped you?"). Just start talking to him as if nothing bad between the two of you were not (you never left, not fighting), do not demand from him an apology and an explanation, not accusing him of anything. Perhaps your relationship will be continued and even strengthened.

a Partner can try to return. But, it's not working with a partner, and on myself. This work is solely your over themselves. If the partner said he was bored with you - so it is. Whether you believe in it or not. In General, if a partner leaves, it means he doesn't like something in your relationship or in you. You need to accept it to understand, ponder, and begin to work with it is to start to replenish their resources. Which can be simply not enough to hold the partner. Because you tried so hard to control it, tried to like him, to please, forgetting about himself - that absolutely devastated, and didn't even noticed/didn't understand it. Such devastation can be expressed in a General sense of fatigue at the end of the day, or even morning; unwillingness to do something, except sebagainya, calls partner, sitting in social networks on the page; and even evening zagorami, etc.

In any case - the more you force, resources and capabilities - the more interesting and desirable to you all! The more you are filled with energy, the easier and more joyful to live. The better and more energized you will feel. Filled with energy, you suddenly begin to notice that most appeal to you questions on the street, sit down next to in the subway, and even just looking at you more, longer and zainteresovana. Including - can return a former partner. People, energetically charged, attract the resource. All. And desolate - push. Because, as they are empty, their emptiness seeks to be filled by the resources of a partner (or just a passerby or neighbor in the subway). This resource - vitality.

That might be empty? Separation anxiety, a sense of worthlessness, insignificance, lack of love, the meaninglessness of life, depression, apathy, inactivity, inaction, selfishness, etc. energy consuming feelings and States.

That fills us? Love, participation, creativity, interest, sports, Hobbies, socializing, learning, volunteering (Yes, selfless participation and assistance to the needy , a positive attitude.

All of our feelings: loss, grief, joy, happiness, inspiration, love, tenderness, faith, hope, love is our life we have to live it themselves.

Everything will be fine.

Svetlana Vitalievna
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