When I see the term "here and now" and "awareness", then I'm starting to feel really sick. And it's not because I don't like living in the "here and now" and be conscious, but because these terms are already so distorted pop psychologists and psychotherapy is far from coaches that I don't know where to go.
Being in this disgust, I did write this post, because it is important for your overall development if you are far from the Gestalt approach, because it is based on these two basic terms: "Here and now" and "Mindfulness".
In 90% of cases inexperienced customers come to the Gestalt-therapist without a specific tangible request, but with a lot of stories about "there and then". They retell events, dates, the nuances of relationships and so on, they are not differencebut feelings (wrote about it earlier). This is not a strong problem, because some customers directly therapy not needed. They come in 1-5 meetings to obtain some explanation of his situation, external look, a little analysis, make a couple of conclusions that help them to navigate what to do next and go. That's enough for them. But some people remain in therapy, to move on to a new level of relations with the world and themselves. Then in front of me, as a therapist, gets a difficult task, because in order to diagnose the person and help the client to begin to adjust his life script I need to translate our contact from "there and then" in the "here and now". This is due to the fact that the whole experience we get to practice, which cannot be theoretical or hypothetical, it can only be relevant. This is the same that you come to coach rod and raise it in the "here and now", and then go to the tutor in English and speak it again in the "here and now", sharing their feelings, thoughts and awareness on the subject, listening to yourself and mentor. You guys don't have idea to speak with the coach about someone "there and then". No, of course, sometimes you shoot, but this should not be the main part of the training because the effect is directly proportional to tends to zero.
In the Gestalt approach the same story. If we remain at the stage of discussing about your life and feelings to other people "there and then", we remain at the stage precontact (read introduction), we do not go directly to work on your life. As well as, if you endlessly talk with coach rod or an English tutor (in Russian) about how how you have been or will be "there and then".
But what does it mean to work in the "here and now" in the context of Gestalt therapy?
Many of my colleagues will disagree with me, but I will say as simply and kitchen that work in the Gestalt approach to the "here and now" - it means to constantly sort things out with a therapist. Yes, I know it sounds funny, but think about it, what can we do to engage in this mode if there is no rod tutorial? Is you (the client), there's me (the therapist), there is a space where we met (the Cabinet) and all! And Yes, there is the man in the street starts breaking the pattern and appear mediocre thoughts from the "every day with someone to sort things out and communicate, why do I have to pay for it and who is all this therapist, I can chat with a neighbor or bartender." My answer is: of course that's only communication communication strife. But your a really good question and to answer it, let me describe the situation through the eyes of the advanced client why he goes and pays. It's two things:
1. It becomes easier, more pleasant, more comfortable, quieter due to the fact that he feels accepted at the level of the individual. That is, it's not even about the fact that you complained and you listened. Yes, it's nice, but it is not the same as the feeling of making myself a different person on a personal level, at the level you, as a unique entity. I don't know of situations where this condition can be achieved in normal everyday dialogue. To respond to some emotion - Yes, but to be accepted is unlikely. From my experience this is only possible with good enough parents. But if you are so lucky with family relations, you don't interested in therapy. Most likely you are interested in other things. In therapy you gain experience, what the other person is interested in You As you Are is the first valuable healing time in the Gestalt therapeutic relationship.
2. The second point is more complex - it's just an opportunity to meet and discover each other without losing yourself. The client presents the therapist as you are with your feelings and needs, and the therapist, in turn, the client can also be very different. He is also experiencing his range of emotions, States and desires, but due to the developed consciousness has the ability to track these processes, not following them mindlessly, and lodging as needed, according to circumstances, on request. Here begins the magic of Gestalt. The client has the opportunity not just to show themselves, but also to meet with another man who their feelings, status and desires, which appreciates the relationship and does not change the client for themselves. It is here that begins the healing and developmental process. In this place, one learns to be herself by staying in contact with others without changing yourself, not forcing yourself and other. When a client understands this, it is possible arbitrarily, on the basis of interest, to test different lead, different ways to interact. He listens to himself and checked with the therapist observes where the meeting is and what is not. In real life it is quite difficult to get this opportunity. Office life is like slower and you can try and one thing and another, slowly, living, breathing, grust rejoicing, being angry. At this point, the client has the ability to generate new forms of behaviors, new forms of creative adaptation to the world, then bringing these schemes to life outside of the office, in the places where he has something did not work or required improvements.
You learn to detect emotions and States in yourself and other people in contact with you, to discover the needs, reactions to you and your own, to see their behavior in a given situation, observe yourself. Developing all these skills you learn to build a deeper relationship.
regarding different injuries.
the Injury is the same is born in the relationship. It is the same adaptive response, just like everything else. Previously, this type of operation, this is your scenario, the scheme of perception of reality and behaviour was the only possible way to live in the difficult situation that was. But at the moment this pattern degrades the quality of your life. With the growth of trust to the therapist in the "here and now" these traumatic scenarios relations begin to emerge, that is, you start to behave the way I used to "there and then" in those traumatic relationships, in that situation. And now you have the opportunity, on the one hand, to re-live these unpleasant feelings with a therapist, but in the situation of a support trust, the resource, and on the other hand, you now have the opportunity to experience this new accommodation and a new experience. Now you can consciously correct this destructive scenario. You become more flexible, finding a new way to new patterns of adaptation to the different life situations and people.
About much else to say, add, to clear up, but it was important for me to tell you about some of the starting points of Gestalt therapy, the "here and now", "awareness" in some clear and accessible way. And I hope that I have succeeded.