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we All remember the parable of the "shop of dreams"? "In the universe..." This parable is primarily about the fact that often we are waiting for some changes in my life. But that change happened, we must first change something in yourself, something to give, something to gain. And only after that will get what you wanted. But not Vice versa. And today I propose to speculate about what you will have to pay for a happy relationship.

1. The refusal of the other partners. It is impossible to build a happy relationship, living for two families. I have not met a single client (whether male or female) residing in a happy relationship, while simultaneously building at least two partners. Often, when you experience stress and conflict, one or both partners decide to build a relationship on the side. It helps relieve the tension and do not focus their attention on the unresolved issues. But the reason for the differences in this way is not solved, and, quite often, only aggravates the situation.

2. The rejection of the desire to control. Remember advertising "where have You been? - running...". So from this and will have to give. Do not confuse interest in a life partner and the desire to control his every move.

3. You will have to pay and desire to be the center of the universe for your partner. You can't, how would that be like, to be the chief object of his attention. Friends, Hobbies, etc. - is what fills your relationship.

4. The rejection of the idea that "if you like, you'll know." Relationships can change and develop in a cooperative dialogue, where everyone is willing to share their thoughts, desires and experiences.

5. The rejection of the idea that relationships change at the expense of another. What has changed is only possible when the partner will begin to change and do as you see fit. Actually a parable about this. Before to get something from the relationship, you need to give something back.

6. The time you can certainly only pay for myself and my Hobbies and interests. Yes, relationships need your attention. By themselves, they can not develop. And if you don't give them the time, they are gradually destroyed. And to do that, have another way to manage your time. Maybe somewhere to reduce the time for their Hobbies. And now, for example, to read a book a day not an hour and forty minutes. But it is also worth to consider the option of delegating their household duties.

7. The rejection fear of intimacy and trust. This is something that is a frequent cause of the destruction of relationships, or at least the reason that the relationship will not be happy. We are afraid to be themselves, afraid to be real afraid to talk about their feelings and desires. And sometimes even forbid myself to feel and to want things. Live in resentment of the expectations that our partner needs us to understand something about myself. But do you understand yourself? What do you do in order to be understood?

8. The rejection of illusions. There can be endless. Everyone has their own list. Everyone comes into a relationship with a bag of false ideas/dreams and, like a magician, skillfully pulls them out. And suffering from their own mistakes. Is not it easier to "throw" the bag? Relationship the better the more flexible. The less in them, a framework that constantly they must fit. And flexibility are born again in a joint dialogue and lack of expectations.

And what are willing to leave you to buy in the store desires a happy relationship?

Liliya Morozova
2018-11-04
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