As many know, psychoanalysis – a deep and long therapy. The reason is that we are immersed with the patient in these layers of the psyche, the sharp touch of which can be traumatic. We set before ourselves the purpose NOT to remunerate patient, so try to be very careful.

And, of course, the thrill of the therapy can be radically different from what is expected. Why is this happening?

a Man comes into therapy with a desire to understand the situation. Sometimes a request that he "bad", sometimes you want to solve a specific problem, and sometimes even that all would seem well, but something made come.

the First meeting is filled with new experiences. It's an alert from a new format of relations: attention of a specialist can be nice, can cause stress, can be frankly scary. Most people like the opportunity to throw out the emotions, to talk about themselves to someone who listens to. But already at the first sessions can start of surprise. So suddenly finds that talking about yourself is hard, especially the "alien". However, the first three or four sessions most patients overcome quite successfully.

the Main problems start at about the fourth meeting. First, may disappear the symptoms for which it was started therapy. For example, a feeding therapist can help in fighting panic attacks. And why then come next? Can become boring. May be ashamed. You may feel "told me about it, and no improvements". All of this reliable reason to end therapy.

I Propose to consider all four situations, although they are much more.

1) Disappeared unpleasant symptoms.

Yes, it happens. This is because the therapist (as "knowing" in the imagination of the patient) asked him a logical question, to think about which made it possible to avoid a traumatic situation, but the reason the reaction to a traumatic situation has still not been found. Or the patient could rely on the figure of the therapist, to pour out negative and come from the "pieces". Perhaps the patient was frightened by the fear of the symptoms are gone, because their presence "forces" to remain in therapy. Whether it was cured? No. The main problem/problems are solved.

2) it Became boring.

it helps if one of protection. We get thus a devaluation of the therapist, nothing happens, sadly. Go. The reason for this reluctance to immerse yourself in. And one of the reasons for the boredom – aggression, which the patient does not feel, in therapy it manifests itself as boredom. And the reason for aggression is always there, because the waiting process is always very different from reality. After the miraculous healing from the doorway of the Cabinet does not occur. It is advice is not given. You have to work yourself. A wonderful tip that will change lives – the same dream... And to work boring. Then, again, there is anger at the villain Analytics, not giving advice, not kicking thankfully. Although it would seem, others kicked. But it did not help. And from the therapist is still waiting for the same kick, only this time saving. The thought of working scares. Okay, it's a logical expectation of a miracle, and it is possible to decide if the time to discuss with a specialist.

3) Everything is told, but became better not.

Imagine: the request was for a change of character, and it took four sessions... now imagine the man with the axe, hacking Your brain (I already mentioned this way in one of the articles). Attempt a quick change of character similar to the work of the butcher.

4) a Shame. At first it was nostro. And then it got so difficult to talk about myself that it became in the way to come to the session. This is normal, it is addictive to a specialist, as a person. And it's very frightening. Afraid to love, afraid to hate.

Generally, to find out something bad about yourself, or that someone learns about you – it's very scary. The stranger in the office is one thing, but a specific specialist, whom you already know is the relationship. They afraid to go in. One scares be bad for the other, and the second more depressing knowledge about yourself for something bad when a child all accept him only good. And only later will be able to understand that the analyst is not punishing figure, but an ally, it will not assess, it is difficult to shock, and he will not be ashamed.

That's bumpy ride the start of therapy. But this can be overcome if the desire to change yourself, really, great. A psychoanalyst is ready to help in this, but it's working with both sides, "causing happiness" without Your consent will not work.

If the same behavior specialist clearly does not fit into Your framework of "normality": devalues, teaches, speaks instead of You the entire session, even strange to some, then perhaps You're right and something's wrong. This is a reason to change specialist. Especially it is necessary to listen to their feelings on the first or second session, and later it might already be game transfer, and the first-second session very revealing.

good Luck, patience, and hurry to find your expert!

Alexander Pozharova

Psychologist-psychoanalyst

Tel/WhatsApp 8-953-148-2997