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Sometimes in relationships there comes a time when lost all desire to do something for a loved one: to please, to fulfill requests, to Express tenderness and care. Harder to meet first(oops). Increasingly sound rude hurtful words, less warm. Suppressed anger, once withheld so as not to hurt a loved one(th), completely poison the soul. Indifference and weariness come, settle in the place where formerly lived the joy, hopes and dreams. Look charming eyes, gentle smile and gentle gestures favorite hands are still excitement. Intimacy ceases to be timid, but the increased distance doesn't answer nagging feeling in his chest. Sex life loses all RAID's inherent tenderness and passion. Consider yourself lucky if you can keep the memory of what once was otherwise, if there is knowledge about love, slumbering under the weight of misunderstanding, of quarrels, painful differences, fears, resentments and disappointments. br>

Maybe one day someone will Wake up and, covering his face with his hands, wondering: "What happened to us? As it turned out we here, and what I've done(a) to do this? How can we once again become each other closer?". Maybe then there will be a chance to fix something, but maybe not. Someone will have, showing openly all their vulnerability, with no reproaches and accusations, to make the first tentative and awkward step in an attempt (perhaps the last and self-defeating) to bond and fix something for which both are responsible. And may God give courage to forgive each other and themselves, if such steps, no one will have the determination.

With great compassion I treat people, who, noticing the tension in the relationship, offer to its partners to clarify these relationships and/or go to steam therapy, but meeting with a refusal and counter suggestions like: "don't worry, be easier, all we have rules, let's not draw attention, but better do something or this, then we are all by itself to normal". And stuff like that. I myself have had similar situations, and because of the sympathy a lot and therefore don't believe that "don't worry".

Why not believe and you do not advise? Yes, because it's not just refusing to go into steam therapy, often is neglect, unwillingness to hear the Other (and this is the problem), it needs to recognize that something was wrong, believe the feelings of another person is not just some whim, but its reality, part of your shared reality. Therefore, the request of the partner - a reason to slow down, stop, listen. Consent to clarify/to go into steam therapy as a recognition of the value of the Other and his experiences.

But if in doubt, just imagine this: you live, for example, with a dear friend in a wooden house, this cozy log house near the river, as in the song "Nautilus". Well, at some point you smell the smoke, worry, fear, look – put out the fire is possible, because you can still, stream. A dear friend listens to you skeptically and says, "I don't want to check anything and stew, let's have sex, Cho-thread do, walk there or take a trip somewhere, then nothing to wag your nerves". Well, OK. And later, standing in front of the flames of the house that you have built together, behind you hear: "Well, don't we have anything, the house burned down – leaving".

Zolotukhin Mikhail
2018-07-27
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