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Psychology has taught me that:

1. Fools do not happen – there are people with a lower intelligence. Although it is actually the intelligence they have can be quite a the saved and does not even lowered. Those, whom the people called "fools" can be, for example, "cognitive easy", that is, without aspirations for knowledge. Another version of "the fool" - the lack of reflection. A person can be academically intelligent, excellent to deal with large volumes of information and even a good understanding of the people, but not yourself. Thus his behavior will resemble the behavior of a small petulant child. Side affects, how a person with such high intelligence can be so primitive.

And it's simple, and that's what I was taught psychology...

2) If a man has some kind of quality developed too much, something is bound to suffer and not make it. This is called "compensation mechanism". If there is a serious flaw, then there exists a solid dignity. So very often people are strong, but stupid, smart but without ambition, ambitious, but without perseverance, faithful wives, but cold. The only way to get around the compensation mechanism is the harmonious development of all aspects of a person. br>
3) Everyone is different! And none of them like you. However, I understood it even before he immersed himself in psychology. "Everyone is different" - the most important discovery of my life. Psychology has reinforced this understanding and made me more tolerant of others. Now I know what people live (think, react) and nothing else, because otherwise they can not, can not and do not want.
Because all people are different, we all have different visions of the world. One way of looking at the world, other commercials, and no one the "right" opinion no. I have great interest the remarks and reasoning of other people learn to accept someone else's reality. br>
4) People change only when not change can not. That is when life circumstances pushed them to the wall. to Change the other person cannot (and about this I have a separate article). Only if you want to change himself. br>
5) Emotions are just as harmful as helpful. Emotions serve us signals our States, help to understand other people, but... get in the way make reasonable, informed decisions. And what a powerful and destructive force they have, if they ignore, gloss over and try to strangle? So let them out. Sure! But in a way that is safe for others. br>
6) Our efforts are only the people to whom we can entrust the most secret and who love us back. No need to waste your time and energy on those to whom we are indifferent, or even worse – those who do not love us. Of course, without formal relations anywhere, they also must be able to build, but really "invest" only in relations with those who cherish us, and who are dear to us. I really like the words of Osho: "there Comes in your life is the time when you walk away from drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people with whom you laugh. You forget all the bad and focus on the good. Love people who treat you right and pray for others." And a separate one for women (I think it is Marquez): "No man is not worthy your tears, and the one who deserves will never make you cry". br>
7) we All come from childhood. In my work I often encounter with children's fears and complexes, which have an impact on the rest of adult life. This has little to do with the children, because parents "spoil" us as only they can. But there's nothing wrong: we have a whole life to learn to accept ourselves for who we are.

8) Nobody will do for us what we do for ourselves can not do. If we don't love ourselves, no one will love us as we are, in our opinion, "deserve". If the parents haven't given us something, we can become a parent to themselves. Learn to praise yourself, love yourself, respect and accept what we are, instead to demand this from a partner.

9) In this clear, rational and laid out the world is very important to be able to relax and be spontaneous. Once in a while. Allow yourself to frolic and thoughtless actions, for example, go to the Volga among the working week to meet the dawn, and from there call my job saying patient. On death bed all you will have valuable part is the piggy Bank of life. And it is not the money and benefits, but memories and impressions. br>
10) Psychologist is a person, which can be useful for absolutely any person, even the most prosperous. Since I started going to a therapist for "personal therapy" (and to do it necessarily because of their own "cockroaches" had to work, and not feed them at the expense of customers), I once more began to believe in his profession. There are no people without problems and without complexes. But there are those who teach to handle them. So never give up. Everything can always be corrected, the main thing – to start.

Irina Chernova, psychologist, author of books for parents, Moscow

2014-02-06
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