Some time ago I was approached by a man with a very strange request for a psychologist, especially with a psychoanalytic slant: to restore the memories of a fun day of drinking with a colleague in honor of the conclusion of a promising collaboration, which was lost a very valuable item (we will consider his case), without which life would be for the client's very, very difficult.
Any knowledgeable expert would immediately refused, citing the unrealistic nature of the request and an understanding that magic, ekstrasensorika, and even more magically comes to memory using "memory Pool" is far from psychology but yours truly decided to find out what really lies behind this seemingly magical and not having a reality problem. He was appointed the day and time of the meeting. And behold, the meeting took place.
I stood on the threshold full, bald, kind and with well-concealed anxiety looking at me, tastefully-dressed middle-aged man, leaning on an ornate cane. I invited him into the office and the work began.
From the outset, the client told the important facts of their biography, filled with well-concealed despair, loss, self-blame, and focus on their own "peace of mind" when heavy life blows, and the loss of his trunk, where it was "all his life". In addition, I followed the story of the acquisition of the "magical" walking stick that has become an indispensable part of the life of this man.
during the session, it became clear that the man really is not about search of a piece of tissue wrapped it with pieces of paper, plastic and silicon, but rather looking for themselves, their own identity, which he lost in a relatively early period of life. While working I pursued every time a double sense: I see the Buddha in front of him, a sample of calm, balance and wisdom, a little boy about four years old, the impotence pisavsheesya in the middle of the sandbox where the children are older bullies took his bucket, which he made mud pies to the delight of myself (and this comparison is the customer actively confirms every time, even appealed to the metaphor). If we talk about the feelings caused by my client, I felt that respect and reverence, compassion and the desire to protect and to forgive him, to help him to show himself, especially after the story of the client about the appearance of a beautiful Kluki. In my eyes the unfolding human tragedy crushed, unrecognized, humiliated, castrated, and took upon himself the role of what he not even thought to be. And it is understandable why his life was so much heavy losses: it is a terrible accident, which he survived, was left a cripple, and his friend died; the care of spouses with children, with whom he practically does not communicate; that the threat of losing business with a set of debts astronomical sum, but this case remained afloat; finally loss of a suitcase. All that he sought and aspired to - had nothing to do with it I with him, only because the boy who gave great hope for others, sought to meet these expectations to others, and to listen to yourself and make decisions based on their I no one ever taught you. If you speak the language of psychoanalysis, in his mind present a strong False self, which in fact took control over his mental life. And logically, what happened is that the whole life and the person they are in a small suitcase, lost somewhere in a residential area of Moscow.
But I'm True my client made itself felt, saying to him, let him such cruel and inhuman methods, which the way he decided to go about and dictated more bad objects, with whom he developed relationships in early childhood, and should refer to themselves, to find their own identity, to the development where it makes sense to apply force.
Identity is one of the key structures of our personality. She is responsible for our social status, our skills, personal qualities, has a huge impact on our lives in General. Identity is as a professional where we see ourselves as a specialist in a particular path, and life, where we see ourselves as a person who has some relationship to aspects of his own life (yourself, society, family, relationships and so on). In fact, identity is the structure that gives us the answers to the questions "Who am I in this world?" and "Why am I here?". And in some cases, the search for identity some people do their entire lives never finding answers.
In the case of my client, I About this man was so strong that suppressed True self, while finding no conflict with the Ideal I Over I was, as part of their products and is completely subordinated to the requirements of these authorities. I saw deep bewilderment and confusion on my offer to talk about himself, because he did not see himself in his own life. He saw himself in only three things: a failed business, his own disability and helplessness (which he did not confess at first, but which actively hinted). He didn't realize himself as a person capable of feeling and saw only its own functions, as if he was "made" for the sole purpose of following the interests of the primary objects. In his words, even occasionally slip the phrase "rag doll", when he tried to describe himself.
If we talk about the identity of this gentleman men, we see an interesting pattern: as he felt inadequate as a man, in a car accident and he had a crutch, and richly adorned, which he treated with great awe. This accessory to the greatest extent reminded him that he had lost not only a friend but his own manhood, compensation which this cane was, in fact, was (otherwise, he did not refer to her with such great care and reverence).
"what case?",- the attentive reader will say, and, although it is quite clear what actually suitcase meant for my client. He deep down hated for what he does - his false way, and unconsciously realized the uselessness of the imposed identity and sought for a way to get rid of it. Here and found out, after drinking to unconsciousness with a friend left him in the vastness of one of the sleeping areas of Moscow. Taking the symbol of this identity men pail for making sand mud pies in childhood, taken away by bullies, can be traced back to a lost suitcase, just in a different perspective: his true identity was taken away by someone stronger than him and replaced with about a suitcase full of documents in paper and electronic form, which is a false reflection of the personality of our hero, which, moreover, suited everyone but him. In his work, accordingly, I saw one of the goals of the return of the lost customer's true identity, on which we are working hard on so far.
If the reader is anxious for the property of our hero, I dare to assure: society suitcase, of course, there were the next day, thanks to my hard work, and thanks to the quickness of law enforcement officers, because they were left by my customer directly in front of the police Department being in alcoholic amnesia.
And how has proven valuable for our hero this suitcase in the future and whether he played any role in his later life - a very different story.