No need to constantly tell the child "you are my good!", "my joy", "happiness is mine", "sweetheart".
Yes, I'm serious. Now let me explain why. Don't stick stamps. Want to praise - praise in a narrative format (see my posts about descriptive praise).
the fact that when we tell the child that he is the best in the world, always happy, very obedient, mom's helper, and all in this spirit we he hung on the role, the label of "good child", "good", "obedient boy", "the pride and joy of the parents."
Attention! For a child it is too much of a burden and responsibility to be a "good girl" and "my joy." The child's soul lives many other feelings and emotions that a child will suppress and afraid to show you. Why? Because he's "good", "mother's joy", and "mother's joy" genitive not upset, not angry, not crying and is generally always happy, does everything perfect and right!
Along with negative evaluations, positive can also gain a foothold in the role of a child, which he then is forced to play. After all, so talking about him around, so they see it. It is necessary to comply.
"You're so stubborn!", "My oldest was a difficult child, but the youngest - joy", "He is a bully, She's so naive, anybody can cheat," "I don't know what to feed him, he's so picky about food" - all labels that we hang on children. Mom, dad, grandparents, brothers, sisters, teachers. One, two, three times said by different people directly or indirectly about the child and its properties/qualities - and all ready label.
Children mirror. They reflect and behave, how they see, perceive, talk about them their close.
don't need "good girls" and "good boys". Teach children to feel different spectrum of emotions and to Express their feelings in different ways. We are not always going to like what we hear from children, how to Express your feelings to your child. And that's okay! Much more important to BE REAL than to continue to be "mother's joy".
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