my Dear readers, women's half, certainly, each of you has asked yourself the questions about how to become and be happy. Sometimes we catch this condition by accident, sometimes deliberately creating, and sometimes again are missing, are lost and looking again. Many women with age and experience develops their own picture of whether there is happiness in life and what it is.

I Write this article, because I catch myself repeating these thoughts over and over again. Time after time hear the same urgent question, "How to become a happy woman"? He asked my clients, I hear him in the conversations of women friends, his rise in social networks and forums. I want to share my response: what are the sources of women's happiness through the eyes of a psychotherapist.

Immediately want to warn: now there is a lot of training, which is a bunch of techniques "about happiness". Perhaps each one individually might be good, but due to not understanding the coaches how and why to use them, do not carry any charge, and the girls, rushing around on these trainings and can't find answers to your questions, become frustrated and stop developing. So be careful about what hands you can trust.

Princes and horses,

Every girl wants to be happy, every girl paints images, static images. A rich Prince in a white suit on a white horse, always smiling, has a good sense of humor, Oh... and if you are naked, the whole body flexes its muscles, and is so well built that you can brag to friends. The white stone house 400 meters, a large plot and the "house Cup". Mercedes, and Bentley is better, two children, a governess is taking care of them. Daily business: cosmetic bag, fitness, hairdresser, massage, parties. Here it is happiness.

I described the average picture of happiness, we understand that each girl is a personality, respectively of the images, and priorities may vary.

It is, at the moment, not about the content, and that our consciousness gives us happiness images, pictures, and live we have in a time format in the stream. We perceive, that is the feel of the action, event, interaction is something that surrounds us constantly. This is what interests us in this article.

Secret ingredient No. 1: the awareness

Returning to our event fabric that permeates us every day, I can confidently say that not many people are in it consciously and focus on what is happening. This is the main idea.

Better to write it on a sheet of paper. For example, I like to get up early, I love coffee in the morning, I love manicured nails, I love the heat, love to be able to take a shower. Here we have to write what I don't like. Let's say I don't like to read notation, I don't like do not appreciate, do not like to spend weekends cleaning, do not love, when time is spent on empty talk. The third paragraph you need to write that for you is not substantially.

You can tell me what a simple, stupid practice. I'll tell you: this is the first step to conscious life, the first step to happiness.

In my practice I have seen that on average women have come to this awareness for 35 years, men 40. It happens so because before that age we are overwhelmed by a flood of cases and events and we tend not to awareness, we need to go and achieve. For many this period is a revelation, as they understand how a long time they lived the way they wanted.

And imagine that at the time of this awareness, a person no longer has the stamina, energy, opportunities to change something. Such revelations can plunge a person into a deep depression. Of course, for most, life does not end, but we now not about it.

Returning to the above, we come to the importance of awareness, that is understanding the conditions in which we are all well, and let them call a "comfort zone". How do you think will feel the person who is in the comfort zone? Correctly, it will feel great, have fun and the body will issue a "positive" hormones. The person experiences positive feelings, and they expressed positive emotions. How do you think can be called as a long stay in their comfort zone? It is happiness!

a Private party I would like to talk about relationships. This is very important, because relationships constitute the bulk of the comfort zone. For girls it is rather difficult to define the realities of what is happening in the relationship. Girls being emotional, as we have said above, at some point they conceive desires, images that idealize everything that is happening in the pair.

And at the moment, it would be good for her to include all your sensitivity and begin to evaluate what is happening every moment. Not for nothing in Russia there is a saying "the Heart will not deceive". What is it about? For example, the young man said something, but before the girl is picture perfect, supported by hormonal. The girl who knows his comfort zone and realizes their desires, feels that the proposal men not entirely linked to her comfort zone, or, conversely, feels he's found a "soul mate".

When she consciously puts all the conversations plus and minus, it can make the conclusion how the partner fits into its comfort zone. Unfortunately, the same thing happens only on the material level, but the income you can earn and live happily without the zone of comfort, even in wealth, you can not.

in retrospect, we found that awareness and understanding your comfort zone is the basis for building his own fortune, but that's not all...

Secret ingredient No. 2: responsibility

to happiness happened in your life and belong to you, needed one more ingredient. It is the responsibility. Yes, you need to take responsibility into their own hands. At the reception I hear a lot of stories that she had everything: a house full Cup, he loved me, I did, cared, protected. In the course of the study situation usually turns out that it was not a partnership, and parent-children.

the Girl, vyporhnut from the parental nest is still quite young, were under the care of his "new parent" — her husband, who created for his ward's comfort zone. But, as a rule, such relationships are doomed, because life does not stand still and all the time has its own challenges. At the moment when a man for whatever reason cannot take care of his childish wife, she has to take care of itself, and often, children. And this pattern of behavior she has not developed.

overcome by Her fears for their future and that of their children, as a result, this condition becomes syndromic anxiety, with all the possible manifestations, the manifestations of the autonomic system on the physical level; because of the dominance of the chemical levels of stress hormones (cortisol and prolactin) develop mental reactions such as depression, apathy, panic attacks, delusional, hysterical updating components.

This all is occurring because of the unwillingness to take responsibility for your life. It's not the end of life and there is an opportunity to help. However, it is better, this pattern of behaviour as the responsibility for their lives, begin to educate at a very young age when you are still under parental guardianship.

Secret ingredient number 3: the energy

And that's not all... There is still the secret ingredient is energy. To build your comfort zone requires energy. It is those forces that allow us to understand, to accept, to persuade, to bear, to feel all those events that happen on the way to their comfort zone.

Yes, sometimes you have to fight, win, lose, fall, get up, go, and all this requires energy. So where can we get the girl? The sources of this energy is very individual. Someone supports the active work of someone of status, someone to relatives, someone who draws strength from public activity, sport or hobby, and someone does in the privacy of meditation.

Every girl needs to find your source of energy, that is being in awareness, to protect themselves from the "blackout". She always knows what to do in difficult times, where and how to escape and refill vitality.

Here you can add another very large and important subject, the meaning of which, it is better to open in a separate article. Incredibly strong and broad channel source energy is love. Usually, this feeling gives a sense of wings behind the shoulders, the lack of barriers — in other words, the state of the thread.

Catch the bird of happiness – with his own hands

summarizing all the above, we can draw the following conclusions.

the Girl must consciously build your comfort zone. Comfort zone, in the end, is the platform, the tangible, meaningful part of the so necessary "women's happiness". To build a comfort zone, a girl must develop from a young age the three main qualities: awareness, responsibility and ability to accumulate and save energy.

Awareness is a skill monitor, track and filter tolerance in her life, events, phenomena, people, and corresponding to the comfort zone.

- Responsibility is a necessary pattern of behavior that gives us independence and sovereignty, to in a relationship to act in equal partnership position, and be able to defend their comfort zone.

- Energy is the forces that are moving us towards the comfort zone. Our task is to identify and learn to use sources of energy, in order to better and faster to achieve results.

I want all the girls to wish to find yourself in your comfort zone and gain a genuine and comprehensive women's happiness. After all, if a woman is happy, she makes happy all around.