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You and dad faced a similar situation? Listen to the advice of family psychologist.

our society has become accustomed to the fact that the woman herself raising a child, but it also happens that for one reason or another with the children is male. In any case, even if the children live with the mother, responsible father often spends time with them — after all, there are former spouses, but not children. And when the father has a new woman, they are not always good take it.

How to behave to the father to establish a relationship between the woman and the children? On this question, "Latimore" meets the founder and head Dating "Classics relations", a family psychologist and writer Olga Romaniv.

Olga Romaniv

Let's imagine the situation: a man for a long time raising children alone, all his time was wholly given to them, and now, when he met the woman with whom I am ready to get on with my life, completely. In our work, we sometimes face a similar situation and always help to find the source of the rejection and to solve this problem.

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in children, like many adults, a strong sense of possessiveness and jealousy native people.
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Especially sharply it is expressed in the loss of a parent — children are subconsciously afraid to be alone, to be abandoned. Therefore, can negatively perceive the appearance in them of a new human life. At the same time, if they met in different circumstances, the perception could be different.

In this situation the man has a difficult task to make a choice and abandon love or establish between relatives relations. And, as difficult as it seemed the second option, it is better and more correct the first.

To get started is to talk to the kids. But still, not raising his voice, not scolding or punishing them. Find out what the cause of bad relations with your beloved.

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Answers "Just don't like it", "We don't want to see her" or "We don't need a new mom" without explanation prinimayutsya!

Such flatness and closeness of the children will only speak of the groundless opposition to women out of jealousy and possessive feelings. In this case, you need to gradually lead them to think that you need this person as important as they are.

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Children need to understand that because of the new relationship you will not become them less than to love.

Wait with living together with the woman, her appearance in the circle of your family should be gradual, so that children can better learn and get used to it.

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If the children and later still bad to say about your beloved, but with the reasons, is to listen to them.

Especially if they've never lied to you. In this case, you need to talk to a woman to understand the situation and understand how to proceed.

Remember, if a woman really applies to you and your kids really had a conflict, she always will say about this, not shifting blame on them. If a woman defends herself, stating your children, or does not admit the facts of the case, you should think about her honesty towards you.

If there is a conflict and it is recognized by both sides, not taking off parts of the fault, it is the best option — it can be a starting point for convergence.

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Help the children and his beloved to understand and recognize the causes of the conflict and to apologize to each drugom.

They share a love of you, they can come to an agreement, and the relationship between them will gradually become warmer.

You need to help your lady to find common interests with children the areas of life and issues in which it can be needed to suggest how and what to do. This is especially important if you grow devochki.

Zahruzka...

Glavnoe that children began to feel the warmth of a woman, her sincere interest in them. Always remember that children are very subtly feel lie and insincerity, so your choice should not be flattery, familiarity, lectures, moralizing, and punishment of any methods of education, is unacceptable to you.

it depends on you how dear to you people will be able to approach each other.

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patience, but don't be a "receiver" complaints from both sides.

Love your family, show how important they are to you, and then you will get the ultimate prize the gratitude, openness and mutual respect. Only in this case your family will be full and happy.

Photo: Shutterstock/VOSTOCK

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2019-03-18
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